It's Friday morning and I'm in my living room/home office in front of my laptop with my coffee. My dog and cat are both looking at me like, "What are you doing here right now? Why are you home?" And then I panic because I feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere else. But I'm not...because I'm in my home office working but in a very different way than I have for most of my career.
I have decided to leave my well-paid, challenging, full-time job with a very desirable company to become a marketing and social media consultant. While some are "Leaning In," I am most definitely Leaning Out. If you're scratching your head wondering why, you can bet that I'm about to elaborate.
I have spent years - almost eleven to be exact - juggling schedules, cursing like a truck driver while stuck in traffic on the way to daycare, explaining to managers why I have to work from home for the day so that I can attend a school function that takes place at 11AM on a Monday morning, yelling at my kids because they want my help with homework while I'm trying to get an important project completed, etc. I could create pages of these situations that arise daily. But you get the picture.
I have also had all different work arrangements: part-time, full time with a day working from home, 4 days per week. And while some of these worked very well (like part-time), they always went away, usually because the role became bigger and more important so full-time became a necessity. I have had flexible managers and those who haven't been so flexible. A few companies were forward-thinking and others more traditional.
Lastly, I have tried all methods of childcare and organization methods. We have had babysitters, after-school care, nannies, etc. We have connected with some of these caregivers and not so much with others. In the end, the good ones always seemed to go away too soon, usually because they were moving on to other things in their lives. And we were left to start a new, frantic search for a replacement. This process always took months, involved outreach to friends, signing up on websites, etc. We always made due in the end but never without a lot of finagling. Oh, and the message boards, big post-it calendars, apps, lists, etc. that I have purchased/downloaded/written to organize our lives! I could fill a room with them (note: I should have a tag sale).
Through all of these years and situations, one feeling has remained a constant: a desire to make my life and my families' lives less "crazy." I will admit it - I have a type A personality and I yell...a lot. The more hectic my life gets, the more I feel out of control. And this has taken its toll on me and on my family.
Enter the decision to make a change...and the challenges that this brings about. I love to work - I love the work that I do. Marketing and social media are ever-changing, challenging and in great demand. So I want to keep doing what I love and to continue working with great people but I also want to create a calmer, more supportive environment for my kids and my husband.
So, here comes the next phase of my life. Earlier in this post, I called it "Leaning Out." But I don't really think I'm doing that; I'm just "Leaning In" in a different way - a way that hopefully leads to a greater sense of control while still contributing financially and continuing a great career. Years ago, I read Carol Evans' book, "This is How We Do It." It talks about how women make changes throughout their lives to support their families' needs. It's the new reality and it's here to stay. For all working families, you know exactly what this means. And you can do it...you sometimes have to take risks and be your own advocate. But you can do it.
So there you have it. I'm a consultant, an entrepreneur. I'm filling out all kinds of paperwork for my LLC, I'm talking to clients, I'm Tweeting. And then when my kids get home from school, I'm doing homework, going to soccer practice, playing cards and walking my dog. It's the new me.
My new company is Take Root Marketing and my website will be live soon. My plan is to also blog about my experiences in establishing my new company in the hopes that it might inspire others and may also (hopefully) assist other entrepreneurs who are getting started. I will post more details when I have them.
Cheers,
Renay
Friday, May 3, 2013
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Get ready for change...again!
It's August. That means we're all trying to get in those last few weeks of summer to enjoy our vacations, get to any of those places we vowed we'd get to this year and ensure that our kids have fun before the back-to-school craziness begins.
For me, this August is really about panic. It seems like we are always going through some kind of scheduling and/or childcare adjustment. But this year, it's worse than ever. My son who is only 10 is going off to middle school; MIDDLE SCHOOL with 13-14 year olds who are basically about to enter high school. I was a middle school teacher so I definitely have first-hand experience. You know what's going through my mind - my sweet, little boy is going to get thrown to the wolves. And he will be taking the bus which will make it even more anxiety-provoking. On top of this mental turmoil, I will now have 2 kids in 2 different schools with different schedules + after-school activities all while trying to manage the demands of a challenging career.
So I'm trying to figure it all out; after school programs, babysitters, working from home. You name it, I've thought of it. But the plan is not yet solidified because there are so many details to be worked out. So, yes, I'm in panic mode.
All of this leads me to a one main conclusion. As a society, we don't truly honor working families. We don't support them beyond giving some lip service to family values and flex time. We either stay home and sacrifice our desires to have challenging careers in order to be good parents or we work but know that it's frowned upon when we leave early for a soccer game or a school play. Our country is almost at the bottom of the list when it comes to maternity/paternity leave benefits - doesn't that say it all?
This is a fundamental mindset. I applaud companies like mine who are flexible and bosses like mine who are incredibly supportive. I know I am fortunate and can work through my scheduling challenges because of these factors. But this is definitely not the norm. While as a culture we have recognized small wins in this area, like companies who are family friendly and school systems that offer after school programs, this issue requires more visibility and serious policy reform. I desperately want this issue to be heard and want to get more involved to make it happen.
What do you think? Can we change things? What organizations are out there that can help? If there are any, I want to learn more about them and get involved.
Cheers,
Renay
For me, this August is really about panic. It seems like we are always going through some kind of scheduling and/or childcare adjustment. But this year, it's worse than ever. My son who is only 10 is going off to middle school; MIDDLE SCHOOL with 13-14 year olds who are basically about to enter high school. I was a middle school teacher so I definitely have first-hand experience. You know what's going through my mind - my sweet, little boy is going to get thrown to the wolves. And he will be taking the bus which will make it even more anxiety-provoking. On top of this mental turmoil, I will now have 2 kids in 2 different schools with different schedules + after-school activities all while trying to manage the demands of a challenging career.
So I'm trying to figure it all out; after school programs, babysitters, working from home. You name it, I've thought of it. But the plan is not yet solidified because there are so many details to be worked out. So, yes, I'm in panic mode.
All of this leads me to a one main conclusion. As a society, we don't truly honor working families. We don't support them beyond giving some lip service to family values and flex time. We either stay home and sacrifice our desires to have challenging careers in order to be good parents or we work but know that it's frowned upon when we leave early for a soccer game or a school play. Our country is almost at the bottom of the list when it comes to maternity/paternity leave benefits - doesn't that say it all?
This is a fundamental mindset. I applaud companies like mine who are flexible and bosses like mine who are incredibly supportive. I know I am fortunate and can work through my scheduling challenges because of these factors. But this is definitely not the norm. While as a culture we have recognized small wins in this area, like companies who are family friendly and school systems that offer after school programs, this issue requires more visibility and serious policy reform. I desperately want this issue to be heard and want to get more involved to make it happen.
What do you think? Can we change things? What organizations are out there that can help? If there are any, I want to learn more about them and get involved.
Cheers,
Renay
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Social Media and Our Kids
I am a social media marketer by trade and have spent the past 7 years engaging in social media strategy and practice, in addition to other marketing activities. Still, I am very passionate about how online communities and sharing capabilities can connect brands with customers in a way that nothing else really can. And I also enjoy the personal connections that I have been able to maintain as a result of social networking.
But I'm also a parent of a 9 year old and a 6 year old. Both use electronic devices to play games and my son is now starting to use the Internet to do online research for projects. Within a few years, I have no doubt that he will start to have interest in online communities like Facebook and others. As a responsible parent, I'm concerned about how my children will use these social networking platforms as they get older. Between the stories we hear about online predators, as well as cyber bullying, we can't help the instinct to protect our kids.
So here's an article that I read today that I really enjoyed entitled, Friend Me or Else: A Parent's View of Teens and Facebook. In this article, Catharine Taylor provides some wise advice on how parents can allow Facebook use in a responsible way. She offers up some tips like insisting that kids use avatars in place of profile pictures and ensuring that they don't publish information like what town they live in. Now, I haven't been a teen in a while (thank God) and my kids are not yet at this stage so I'm sure that these suggestions would be met with some protest. But even if you can agree to at least a few of these guidelines, you have at least sent the message to your kids that you care what happens to them online and that you plan to be involved.
So I say let them use Facebook...it's the way that we communicate and it's here to stay. Let them benefit and learn to use it responsibly.
Cheers,
Renay
Thursday, October 6, 2011
What we can learn from Steve Jobs
Today I pre-ordered my iPhone 4S. I have been anxiously awaiting the launch of the iPhone 5 but alas it appears that it will not happen for a while. And then tonight I read the news - the death of Steve Jobs. I know that I should not be surprised but I was...and saddened at the loss of someone who was a true innovator and leader.
As I read an article about his death that also detailed some of the lesser known facts about his life, something struck me. I did not realize that this man who by all accounts was brilliant, forward-thinking and driven did not take a typical path. For instance, he dropped out of college after his first year and he quit his job at Atari designing computer games to backpack through India, also indulging in mind-altering drugs. From there, he met up with the other original founders of Apple and the rest is history. But the point is that he did not follow that straight line to get there; he let his passion and drive point the way to his future and ultimately his success.
In 2005, Steve Jobs delivered the commencement speech at Stanford stating:
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do," he told the Stanford grads in 2005.
"If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on."
Part of me wonders if Steve and I were buddies in a former life because this is my mantra, as well. "Don't settle." Those are words that I try to live by. Life is too short and prescious to do otherwise. But I know so many people who do settle - people who are talented, smart and have a lot to offer. It shows up in so many ways: work, personal relationships, etc. Sometimes the best things are worth taking a risk. Those risks could include accepting less money for a job that is more satisfying, walking away from a disfunctional relationship, saying NO to taking on that next project in order to fulfill personal needs...the list goes on forever.
Steve knew this and he lived it. And sadly his life has been cut short. But he didn't settle. And neither should you. Be willing to take chances and change what isn't working. The returns are so much greater than the risks in the long run.
Cheers,
Renay
As I read an article about his death that also detailed some of the lesser known facts about his life, something struck me. I did not realize that this man who by all accounts was brilliant, forward-thinking and driven did not take a typical path. For instance, he dropped out of college after his first year and he quit his job at Atari designing computer games to backpack through India, also indulging in mind-altering drugs. From there, he met up with the other original founders of Apple and the rest is history. But the point is that he did not follow that straight line to get there; he let his passion and drive point the way to his future and ultimately his success.
In 2005, Steve Jobs delivered the commencement speech at Stanford stating:
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do," he told the Stanford grads in 2005.
"If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on."
Part of me wonders if Steve and I were buddies in a former life because this is my mantra, as well. "Don't settle." Those are words that I try to live by. Life is too short and prescious to do otherwise. But I know so many people who do settle - people who are talented, smart and have a lot to offer. It shows up in so many ways: work, personal relationships, etc. Sometimes the best things are worth taking a risk. Those risks could include accepting less money for a job that is more satisfying, walking away from a disfunctional relationship, saying NO to taking on that next project in order to fulfill personal needs...the list goes on forever.
Steve knew this and he lived it. And sadly his life has been cut short. But he didn't settle. And neither should you. Be willing to take chances and change what isn't working. The returns are so much greater than the risks in the long run.
Cheers,
Renay
Friday, August 19, 2011
When Working Parents Get Carried Away
I just came across an article on the Working Mother website entitled, "Sticky Situations: Toddlers in the Workplace." In this article, the writer responds to a reader question that indicates she wants to bring her toddler to work but is unsure if children are welcome. The writer responds that if the policy is that children are welcome, then it should be okay.
Here's my response: NO, it's not okay. Let's all remember why we work. Our companies have hired us to do a job that is supposed to contribute to the mission of the organization and ultimately, the bottom line. And we accepted the position because: a.) we probably require the salary and (hopefully) b.) we have chosen to have a career that challenges us. My guess is that for 99% of us, that agreement did not include the ability to bring our children to work.
Don't get me wrong...I certainly think that the workplace needs to be flexible. Without the flexible schedule that I enjoy in my workplace, I could not properly attend to my children's needs and I would never be an "unavailable" parent. And there are times that our kids are sick and we don't have childcare options; there are times when our kids are on vacation and we aren't. So I do think that having the ability to bring our children to the workplace when we don't have another choice is a nice thing.
That all being said, I believe that as we continue to lobby for flexible workplaces, job sharing options, and part time positions, we have to keep in mind that there are certain priorities. Let's focus on that flexibility while understanding that we work for companies who have responsibilities to shareholders and are focused on achieving certain revenue goals. Let's keep our "eyes on the prize" rather than pushing the limits of acceptable policies like asking to bring our kids to work. Most of us still have so far to go on the bigger issues so let's focus on those and call attention to the issues that really matter rather than getting bogged down in the "nice to haves."
Cheers,
Renay
Here's my response: NO, it's not okay. Let's all remember why we work. Our companies have hired us to do a job that is supposed to contribute to the mission of the organization and ultimately, the bottom line. And we accepted the position because: a.) we probably require the salary and (hopefully) b.) we have chosen to have a career that challenges us. My guess is that for 99% of us, that agreement did not include the ability to bring our children to work.
Don't get me wrong...I certainly think that the workplace needs to be flexible. Without the flexible schedule that I enjoy in my workplace, I could not properly attend to my children's needs and I would never be an "unavailable" parent. And there are times that our kids are sick and we don't have childcare options; there are times when our kids are on vacation and we aren't. So I do think that having the ability to bring our children to the workplace when we don't have another choice is a nice thing.
That all being said, I believe that as we continue to lobby for flexible workplaces, job sharing options, and part time positions, we have to keep in mind that there are certain priorities. Let's focus on that flexibility while understanding that we work for companies who have responsibilities to shareholders and are focused on achieving certain revenue goals. Let's keep our "eyes on the prize" rather than pushing the limits of acceptable policies like asking to bring our kids to work. Most of us still have so far to go on the bigger issues so let's focus on those and call attention to the issues that really matter rather than getting bogged down in the "nice to haves."
Cheers,
Renay
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Starbucks: So much more than just coffee
Anyone who knows me at all is aware of my Starbucks habit. Since what feels like the beginning of time - or maybe just after my kids were born - I have visited Starbucks almost on a daily basis. There were a few years when I wasn't working full time and tried to cut back on my expensive habit; during those leaner years, I may have visited a few times per week rather than daily.
Friends make fun of my little habit, relatives think I spend too much money on coffee and my husband - who I may add also has a Starbucks addiction - laughs at me. Even my children have learned that Mom often stops at my coveted cafe on the way to soccer, family outings, shopping, etc.
To this end, my daughter purchased the book Onward for me for my recent birthday. For those who are unfamiliar with the book, it was written by Starbucks ceo (yes, he uses lowercase for his title) Howard Schulz and details "How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul." I just started reading it and only 25 pages in, I realized that for me, Starbucks is about way more than just coffee.
In the book, Schulz discusses that for him, Starbucks was never just about selling coffee. It was always about the experience. When you go into any of their locations and look around, you may see: professionals on their way to work, students working on research papers, Moms with their babies in tow, friends meeting up after going to the gym, the list goes on forever.
After I gave birth to Zachary and spent a year at home, it was a major adjustment, as it is for most new Moms, especially for those of us who were out in the workforce and were now at home full time. As wonderful as it was, there were times when I felt isolated and just needed to get out of the house. Going to Starbucks was a break in my day; a time when I could do something - even something small - for myself. And I always felt comfortable bringing Zach in his stroller.
Fast forward a few years and I'm back in the workforce, juggling kids and career. There is little - if any - time to slow down. I'm always racing between schools, work, back to school and managing things at home. So a daily stop at Starbucks is my small break in the day, a time to enjoy my own little tradition. And on occasion, I will grab a coworker for an afternoon coffee break or meet a friend for an after lunch latte.
Starbucks does not just represent great coffee for me; it's about a tradition, an experience that for a few minutes takes me away from all of my responsibilities and harried lifestyle. For some of us, that "tradition" or experience might be a daily run or reading the paper. Or, for commuters, it could be that half hour when you can read a book on the train. The point is that making that time for ourselves and respecting that tradition is critical for our well-being.
Thank you, Howard Schulz, for going beyond the standard coffee shop, for creating a place where people can have an experience, where they can feel comfortable and socialize while enjoying an amazing coffee treat. And go ahead, friends and relatives. Make fun of my grande non-fat latte habit...I won't be pulling out my Starbucks Gold Card for you!
Cheers,
Renay
Friends make fun of my little habit, relatives think I spend too much money on coffee and my husband - who I may add also has a Starbucks addiction - laughs at me. Even my children have learned that Mom often stops at my coveted cafe on the way to soccer, family outings, shopping, etc.
To this end, my daughter purchased the book Onward for me for my recent birthday. For those who are unfamiliar with the book, it was written by Starbucks ceo (yes, he uses lowercase for his title) Howard Schulz and details "How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul." I just started reading it and only 25 pages in, I realized that for me, Starbucks is about way more than just coffee.
In the book, Schulz discusses that for him, Starbucks was never just about selling coffee. It was always about the experience. When you go into any of their locations and look around, you may see: professionals on their way to work, students working on research papers, Moms with their babies in tow, friends meeting up after going to the gym, the list goes on forever.
After I gave birth to Zachary and spent a year at home, it was a major adjustment, as it is for most new Moms, especially for those of us who were out in the workforce and were now at home full time. As wonderful as it was, there were times when I felt isolated and just needed to get out of the house. Going to Starbucks was a break in my day; a time when I could do something - even something small - for myself. And I always felt comfortable bringing Zach in his stroller.
Fast forward a few years and I'm back in the workforce, juggling kids and career. There is little - if any - time to slow down. I'm always racing between schools, work, back to school and managing things at home. So a daily stop at Starbucks is my small break in the day, a time to enjoy my own little tradition. And on occasion, I will grab a coworker for an afternoon coffee break or meet a friend for an after lunch latte.
Starbucks does not just represent great coffee for me; it's about a tradition, an experience that for a few minutes takes me away from all of my responsibilities and harried lifestyle. For some of us, that "tradition" or experience might be a daily run or reading the paper. Or, for commuters, it could be that half hour when you can read a book on the train. The point is that making that time for ourselves and respecting that tradition is critical for our well-being.
Thank you, Howard Schulz, for going beyond the standard coffee shop, for creating a place where people can have an experience, where they can feel comfortable and socialize while enjoying an amazing coffee treat. And go ahead, friends and relatives. Make fun of my grande non-fat latte habit...I won't be pulling out my Starbucks Gold Card for you!
Cheers,
Renay
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Food for thought
I often hear my Mom friends complain about their kids' eating habits. One has a son who will only eat chicken nuggets - day in, day out, for lunch and dinner - chicken nuggets. Another Mom I know complains because her daughter only eats a few bites of food at every meal. Consequently, the doctor monitors the little girl's weight and they have goals like a positive weight gain of a half pound per month. Time after time, I hear similar stories.
Enter my family into the mix. We love to eat; breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks...you name it, we eat it. And none of this "few bites" business or only one type of food. My husband and I are not overweight but we're not skinny, either. Then there's Zach. The word beanpole comes to mind when I look at him yet he already cleans out my refrigerator. He's an incredibly active kid so this probably makes sense; he is always running, playing soccer, swimming, etc. Even my cat loves to eat. She is on diet cat food and can only have a quarter cup of food 2 times per day. Poor thing doesn't run too quickly these days...
And then there's my 6-year old daughter who is the real subject of this post. I think that she came out of the womb with hips. Brie is not overweight but not skinny, either. She's very tall for her age and is fairly active: soccer, swimming, gymnastics. She also loves to eat which I consider to be a good thing. And she doesn't eat junk food; in fact, none of us does. There are no chips in my house as a rule, no cake, cookies, pop tarts, soda. We eat protein and vegetables every night and I pack the kids' lunches every day to avoid the unhealthy meals served at school. And we all eat fruit daily.
Yet, with all of this, our doctor has now lectured me at our past 2 appointments about Brie being overweight. I have explained that while she is not a beanpole like Zach (who, BTW, is supposedly at the 100% for weight and is supposedly on the brink of being overweight!!!???) she eats healthy food and exercises daily. Yes, there are times when she may eat too much of something but it's usually fruit. And there are the cupcakes and ice cream at birthday parties that I feel are fine as treats. But overall, my kids are healthy and happy. So should I really obsess about the extra pounds? Should I instill in her the need to conform to a BMI chart and make her aware of the fact that she's not a skinny twig at the age of six? My answer is consistently NO.
I have been concerned about my weight since I was a young girl, as many of us are. And I would say that I still am. But I now try to focus more of my attention on leading a healthy lifestyle rather than what the scale says. Our kids - and more specifically our daughters - have many years ahead of them where they will also obsess over their looks and their weight, ideas imposed by society and their peer groups. Do we really need to start working on this when they're young kids?
Interestingly enough, when our most recent appointment was over, our doctor then proceeded to tell me that even though she and her family are vegetarians who eat tofu and vegetables all the time, none of them (including her) is thin. It's just the way that their family is. Hmmm. Food for thought, I think...no pun intended.
Gotta go...I hear my cat meowing for her quarter cup of diet cat food...
Cheers,
Renay
Enter my family into the mix. We love to eat; breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks...you name it, we eat it. And none of this "few bites" business or only one type of food. My husband and I are not overweight but we're not skinny, either. Then there's Zach. The word beanpole comes to mind when I look at him yet he already cleans out my refrigerator. He's an incredibly active kid so this probably makes sense; he is always running, playing soccer, swimming, etc. Even my cat loves to eat. She is on diet cat food and can only have a quarter cup of food 2 times per day. Poor thing doesn't run too quickly these days...
And then there's my 6-year old daughter who is the real subject of this post. I think that she came out of the womb with hips. Brie is not overweight but not skinny, either. She's very tall for her age and is fairly active: soccer, swimming, gymnastics. She also loves to eat which I consider to be a good thing. And she doesn't eat junk food; in fact, none of us does. There are no chips in my house as a rule, no cake, cookies, pop tarts, soda. We eat protein and vegetables every night and I pack the kids' lunches every day to avoid the unhealthy meals served at school. And we all eat fruit daily.
Yet, with all of this, our doctor has now lectured me at our past 2 appointments about Brie being overweight. I have explained that while she is not a beanpole like Zach (who, BTW, is supposedly at the 100% for weight and is supposedly on the brink of being overweight!!!???) she eats healthy food and exercises daily. Yes, there are times when she may eat too much of something but it's usually fruit. And there are the cupcakes and ice cream at birthday parties that I feel are fine as treats. But overall, my kids are healthy and happy. So should I really obsess about the extra pounds? Should I instill in her the need to conform to a BMI chart and make her aware of the fact that she's not a skinny twig at the age of six? My answer is consistently NO.
I have been concerned about my weight since I was a young girl, as many of us are. And I would say that I still am. But I now try to focus more of my attention on leading a healthy lifestyle rather than what the scale says. Our kids - and more specifically our daughters - have many years ahead of them where they will also obsess over their looks and their weight, ideas imposed by society and their peer groups. Do we really need to start working on this when they're young kids?
Interestingly enough, when our most recent appointment was over, our doctor then proceeded to tell me that even though she and her family are vegetarians who eat tofu and vegetables all the time, none of them (including her) is thin. It's just the way that their family is. Hmmm. Food for thought, I think...no pun intended.
Gotta go...I hear my cat meowing for her quarter cup of diet cat food...
Cheers,
Renay
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