Social Media and Our Kids

I am a social media marketer by trade and have spent the past 7 years engaging in social media strategy and practice, in addition to other marketing activities. Still, I am very passionate about how online communities and sharing capabilities can connect brands with customers in a way that nothing else really can. And I also enjoy the personal connections that I have been able to maintain as a result of social networking.

But I'm also a parent of a 9 year old and a 6 year old. Both use electronic devices to play games and my son is now starting to use the Internet to do online research for projects. Within a few years, I have no doubt that he will start to have interest in online communities like Facebook and others. As a responsible parent, I'm concerned about how my children will use these social networking platforms as they get older. Between the stories we hear about online predators, as well as cyber bullying, we can't help the instinct to protect our kids.

So here's an article that I read today that I really enjoyed entitled, Friend Me or Else: A Parent's View of Teens and Facebook. In this article, Catharine Taylor provides some wise advice on how parents can allow Facebook use in a responsible way. She offers up some tips like insisting that kids use avatars in place of profile pictures and ensuring that they don't publish information like what town they live in. Now, I haven't been a teen in a while (thank God) and my kids are not yet at this stage so I'm sure that these suggestions would be met with some protest. But even if you can agree to at least a few of these guidelines, you have at least sent the message to your kids that you care what happens to them online and that you plan to be involved.

So I say let them use Facebook...it's the way that we communicate and it's here to stay. Let them benefit and learn to use it responsibly.

Cheers,

Renay

When Working Parents Get Carried Away

I just came across an article on the Working Mother website entitled, "Sticky Situations: Toddlers in the Workplace." In this article, the writer responds to a reader question that indicates she wants to bring her toddler to work but is unsure if children are welcome. The writer responds that if the policy is that children are welcome, then it should be okay.

Here's my response: NO, it's not okay. Let's all remember why we work. Our companies have hired us to do a job that is supposed to contribute to the mission of the organization and ultimately, the bottom line. And we accepted the position because: a.) we probably require the salary and (hopefully) b.) we have chosen to have a career that challenges us. My guess is that for 99% of us, that agreement did not include the ability to bring our children to work.

Don't get me wrong...I certainly think that the workplace needs to be flexible. Without the flexible schedule that I enjoy in my workplace, I could not properly attend to my children's needs and I would never be an "unavailable" parent. And there are times that our kids are sick and we don't have childcare options; there are times when our kids are on vacation and we aren't. So I do think that having the ability to bring our children to the workplace when we don't have another choice is a nice thing.

That all being said, I believe that as we continue to lobby for flexible workplaces, job sharing options, and part time positions, we have to keep in mind that there are certain priorities. Let's focus on that flexibility while understanding that we work for companies who have responsibilities to shareholders and are focused on achieving certain revenue goals. Let's keep our "eyes on the prize" rather than pushing the limits of acceptable policies like asking to bring our kids to work. Most of us still have so far to go on the bigger issues so let's focus on those and call attention to the issues that really matter rather than getting bogged down in the "nice to haves."

Cheers,
Renay

Starbucks: So much more than just coffee

Anyone who knows me at all is aware of my Starbucks habit. Since what feels like the beginning of time - or maybe just after my kids were born - I have visited Starbucks almost on a daily basis. There were a few years when I wasn't working full time and tried to cut back on my expensive habit; during those leaner years, I may have visited a few times per week rather than daily.

Friends make fun of my little habit, relatives think I spend too much money on coffee and my husband - who I may add also has a Starbucks addiction - laughs at me. Even my children have learned that Mom often stops at my coveted cafe on the way to soccer, family outings, shopping, etc.

To this end, my daughter purchased the book Onward for me for my recent birthday. For those who are unfamiliar with the book, it was written by Starbucks ceo (yes, he uses lowercase for his title) Howard Schulz and details "How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul." I just started reading it and only 25 pages in, I realized that for me, Starbucks is about way more than just coffee.

In the book, Schulz discusses that for him, Starbucks was never just about selling coffee. It was always about the experience. When you go into any of their locations and look around, you may see: professionals on their way to work, students working on research papers, Moms with their babies in tow, friends meeting up after going to the gym, the list goes on forever.

After I gave birth to Zachary and spent a year at home, it was a major adjustment, as it is for most new Moms, especially for those of us who were out in the workforce and were now at home full time. As wonderful as it was, there were times when I felt isolated and just needed to get out of the house. Going to Starbucks was a break in my day; a time when I could do something - even something small - for myself. And I always felt comfortable bringing Zach in his stroller.

Fast forward a few years and I'm back in the workforce, juggling kids and career. There is little - if any - time to slow down. I'm always racing between schools, work, back to school and managing things at home. So a daily stop at Starbucks is my small break in the day, a time to enjoy my own little tradition. And on occasion, I will grab a coworker for an afternoon coffee break or meet a friend for an after lunch latte.

Starbucks does not just represent great coffee for me; it's about a tradition, an experience that for a few minutes takes me away from all of my responsibilities and harried lifestyle. For some of us, that "tradition" or experience might be a daily run or reading the paper. Or, for commuters, it could be that half hour when you can read a book on the train. The point is that making that time for ourselves and respecting that tradition is critical for our well-being.

Thank you, Howard Schulz, for going beyond the standard coffee shop, for creating a place where people can have an experience, where they can feel comfortable and socialize while enjoying an amazing coffee treat. And go ahead, friends and relatives. Make fun of my grande non-fat latte habit...I won't be pulling out my Starbucks Gold Card for you!

Cheers,
Renay

Food for thought

I often hear my Mom friends complain about their kids' eating habits. One has a son who will only eat chicken nuggets - day in, day out, for lunch and dinner - chicken nuggets. Another Mom I know complains because her daughter only eats a few bites of food at every meal. Consequently, the doctor monitors the little girl's weight and they have goals like a positive weight gain of a half pound per month. Time after time, I hear similar stories.

Enter my family into the mix. We love to eat; breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks...you name it, we eat it. And none of this "few bites" business or only one type of food. My husband and I are not overweight but we're not skinny, either. Then there's Zach. The word beanpole comes to mind when I look at him yet he already cleans out my refrigerator. He's an incredibly active kid so this probably makes sense; he is always running, playing soccer, swimming, etc. Even my cat loves to eat. She is on diet cat food and can only have a quarter cup of food 2 times per day. Poor thing doesn't run too quickly these days...

And then there's my 6-year old daughter who is the real subject of this post. I think that she came out of the womb with hips. Brie is not overweight but not skinny, either. She's very tall for her age and is fairly active: soccer, swimming, gymnastics. She also loves to eat which I consider to be a good thing. And she doesn't eat junk food; in fact, none of us does. There are no chips in my house as a rule, no cake, cookies, pop tarts, soda. We eat protein and vegetables every night and I pack the kids' lunches every day to avoid the unhealthy meals served at school. And we all eat fruit daily.

Yet, with all of this, our doctor has now lectured me at our past 2 appointments about Brie being overweight. I have explained that while she is not a beanpole like Zach (who, BTW, is supposedly at the 100% for weight and is supposedly on the brink of being overweight!!!???) she eats healthy food and exercises daily. Yes, there are times when she may eat too much of something but it's usually fruit. And there are the cupcakes and ice cream at birthday parties that I feel are fine as treats. But overall, my kids are healthy and happy. So should I really obsess about the extra pounds? Should I instill in her the need to conform to a BMI chart and make her aware of the fact that she's not a skinny twig at the age of six? My answer is consistently NO.

I have been concerned about my weight since I was a young girl, as many of us are. And I would say that I still am. But I now try to focus more of my attention on leading a healthy lifestyle rather than what the scale says. Our kids - and more specifically our daughters - have many years ahead of them where they will also obsess over their looks and their weight, ideas imposed by society and their peer groups. Do we really need to start working on this when they're young kids?

Interestingly enough, when our most recent appointment was over, our doctor then proceeded to tell me that even though she and her family are vegetarians who eat tofu and vegetables all the time, none of them (including her) is thin. It's just the way that their family is. Hmmm. Food for thought, I think...no pun intended.

Gotta go...I hear my cat meowing for her quarter cup of diet cat food...

Cheers,
Renay

Getting Out of the Office

If you're like me, you're always trying to squeeze in the last few minutes before you have to race out of the office to pick up your kids. I just read this article out on the Working Mother Magazine website called, Exit Strategies: Getting Home. In the article, the author provides some tips on ensuring you leave the office on time. These include:

• Protecting EOD time
• Packing up your stuff in advance
• Setting limits

I have a hard time with any and all of these. I'm always trying to get in that last email, that final finishing touch on my presentation. And heaven help me if I get stopped by a coworker as I'm racing out with my bag and coat in hand...then all bets are off and I'm racing out of the parking lot like a mad woman. I just don't know how to say "no" sometimes and then I curse at myself as I sit in traffic at 5:25 knowing that I will likely be late in picking my kids up. And that causes me immense guilt since I want to spend as much time with them as I can. And couldn't that last email have waited? Couldn't I have just told that coworker that we would have to discuss the topic tomorrow since I have to pick up my kids?

I'm reading a book called, Good Enough is the New Perfect in which the authors describe working Moms as either being in the Never Enough camp or the Good Enough camp. The idea is that for some of us, we can never find satisfaction because we are always trying to get it all done perfectly. And for others of us (I should say "you" since I unfortunately fall into the former camp), we have decided that we can't realistically do it all perfectly and have to accept that some things are "good enough" in order for us to enjoy our families and to have our sanity and happiness. I think that my obsession with getting in that last 5 minutes at work and finishing up those final conversations comes from the thought that I should be able to manage all of this and still get my kids on time.

But I can't. So I need to take advantage of those Working Mothers' tips listed above. I need to shut down my computer at 4:40 to ensure I can get out the door on time. I need to say that I can't stay for another 5 minutes to discuss that topic. These things would be a step in the right direction. So tomorrow, I'm going to try to be Good Enough and get out the door when I need to. I'm vowing to get in my car on time and pick up my kids well in advance of school closing. That last email will have to wait.

Cheers,
Renay