It's Friday morning and I'm in my living room/home office in front of my laptop with my coffee. My dog and cat are both looking at me like, "What are you doing here right now? Why are you home?" And then I panic because I feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere else. But I'm not...because I'm in my home office working but in a very different way than I have for most of my career.
I have decided to leave my well-paid, challenging, full-time job with a very desirable company to become a marketing and social media consultant. While some are "Leaning In," I am most definitely Leaning Out. If you're scratching your head wondering why, you can bet that I'm about to elaborate.
I have spent years - almost eleven to be exact - juggling schedules, cursing like a truck driver while stuck in traffic on the way to daycare, explaining to managers why I have to work from home for the day so that I can attend a school function that takes place at 11AM on a Monday morning, yelling at my kids because they want my help with homework while I'm trying to get an important project completed, etc. I could create pages of these situations that arise daily. But you get the picture.
I have also had all different work arrangements: part-time, full time with a day working from home, 4 days per week. And while some of these worked very well (like part-time), they always went away, usually because the role became bigger and more important so full-time became a necessity. I have had flexible managers and those who haven't been so flexible. A few companies were forward-thinking and others more traditional.
Lastly, I have tried all methods of childcare and organization methods. We have had babysitters, after-school care, nannies, etc. We have connected with some of these caregivers and not so much with others. In the end, the good ones always seemed to go away too soon, usually because they were moving on to other things in their lives. And we were left to start a new, frantic search for a replacement. This process always took months, involved outreach to friends, signing up on websites, etc. We always made due in the end but never without a lot of finagling. Oh, and the message boards, big post-it calendars, apps, lists, etc. that I have purchased/downloaded/written to organize our lives! I could fill a room with them (note: I should have a tag sale).
Through all of these years and situations, one feeling has remained a constant: a desire to make my life and my families' lives less "crazy." I will admit it - I have a type A personality and I yell...a lot. The more hectic my life gets, the more I feel out of control. And this has taken its toll on me and on my family.
Enter the decision to make a change...and the challenges that this brings about. I love to work - I love the work that I do. Marketing and social media are ever-changing, challenging and in great demand. So I want to keep doing what I love and to continue working with great people but I also want to create a calmer, more supportive environment for my kids and my husband.
So, here comes the next phase of my life. Earlier in this post, I called it "Leaning Out." But I don't really think I'm doing that; I'm just "Leaning In" in a different way - a way that hopefully leads to a greater sense of control while still contributing financially and continuing a great career. Years ago, I read Carol Evans' book, "This is How We Do It." It talks about how women make changes throughout their lives to support their families' needs. It's the new reality and it's here to stay. For all working families, you know exactly what this means. And you can do it...you sometimes have to take risks and be your own advocate. But you can do it.
So there you have it. I'm a consultant, an entrepreneur. I'm filling out all kinds of paperwork for my LLC, I'm talking to clients, I'm Tweeting. And then when my kids get home from school, I'm doing homework, going to soccer practice, playing cards and walking my dog. It's the new me.
My new company is Take Root Marketing and my website will be live soon. My plan is to also blog about my experiences in establishing my new company in the hopes that it might inspire others and may also (hopefully) assist other entrepreneurs who are getting started. I will post more details when I have them.
Cheers,
Renay
Showing posts with label Working Mother Magazine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Working Mother Magazine. Show all posts
Friday, May 3, 2013
Friday, August 19, 2011
When Working Parents Get Carried Away
I just came across an article on the Working Mother website entitled, "Sticky Situations: Toddlers in the Workplace." In this article, the writer responds to a reader question that indicates she wants to bring her toddler to work but is unsure if children are welcome. The writer responds that if the policy is that children are welcome, then it should be okay.
Here's my response: NO, it's not okay. Let's all remember why we work. Our companies have hired us to do a job that is supposed to contribute to the mission of the organization and ultimately, the bottom line. And we accepted the position because: a.) we probably require the salary and (hopefully) b.) we have chosen to have a career that challenges us. My guess is that for 99% of us, that agreement did not include the ability to bring our children to work.
Don't get me wrong...I certainly think that the workplace needs to be flexible. Without the flexible schedule that I enjoy in my workplace, I could not properly attend to my children's needs and I would never be an "unavailable" parent. And there are times that our kids are sick and we don't have childcare options; there are times when our kids are on vacation and we aren't. So I do think that having the ability to bring our children to the workplace when we don't have another choice is a nice thing.
That all being said, I believe that as we continue to lobby for flexible workplaces, job sharing options, and part time positions, we have to keep in mind that there are certain priorities. Let's focus on that flexibility while understanding that we work for companies who have responsibilities to shareholders and are focused on achieving certain revenue goals. Let's keep our "eyes on the prize" rather than pushing the limits of acceptable policies like asking to bring our kids to work. Most of us still have so far to go on the bigger issues so let's focus on those and call attention to the issues that really matter rather than getting bogged down in the "nice to haves."
Cheers,
Renay
Here's my response: NO, it's not okay. Let's all remember why we work. Our companies have hired us to do a job that is supposed to contribute to the mission of the organization and ultimately, the bottom line. And we accepted the position because: a.) we probably require the salary and (hopefully) b.) we have chosen to have a career that challenges us. My guess is that for 99% of us, that agreement did not include the ability to bring our children to work.
Don't get me wrong...I certainly think that the workplace needs to be flexible. Without the flexible schedule that I enjoy in my workplace, I could not properly attend to my children's needs and I would never be an "unavailable" parent. And there are times that our kids are sick and we don't have childcare options; there are times when our kids are on vacation and we aren't. So I do think that having the ability to bring our children to the workplace when we don't have another choice is a nice thing.
That all being said, I believe that as we continue to lobby for flexible workplaces, job sharing options, and part time positions, we have to keep in mind that there are certain priorities. Let's focus on that flexibility while understanding that we work for companies who have responsibilities to shareholders and are focused on achieving certain revenue goals. Let's keep our "eyes on the prize" rather than pushing the limits of acceptable policies like asking to bring our kids to work. Most of us still have so far to go on the bigger issues so let's focus on those and call attention to the issues that really matter rather than getting bogged down in the "nice to haves."
Cheers,
Renay
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Getting Out of the Office
If you're like me, you're always trying to squeeze in the last few minutes before you have to race out of the office to pick up your kids. I just read this article out on the Working Mother Magazine website called, Exit Strategies: Getting Home. In the article, the author provides some tips on ensuring you leave the office on time. These include:
I'm reading a book called, Good Enough is the New Perfect in which the authors describe working Moms as either being in the Never Enough camp or the Good Enough camp. The idea is that for some of us, we can never find satisfaction because we are always trying to get it all done perfectly. And for others of us (I should say "you" since I unfortunately fall into the former camp), we have decided that we can't realistically do it all perfectly and have to accept that some things are "good enough" in order for us to enjoy our families and to have our sanity and happiness. I think that my obsession with getting in that last 5 minutes at work and finishing up those final conversations comes from the thought that I should be able to manage all of this and still get my kids on time.
But I can't. So I need to take advantage of those Working Mothers' tips listed above. I need to shut down my computer at 4:40 to ensure I can get out the door on time. I need to say that I can't stay for another 5 minutes to discuss that topic. These things would be a step in the right direction. So tomorrow, I'm going to try to be Good Enough and get out the door when I need to. I'm vowing to get in my car on time and pick up my kids well in advance of school closing. That last email will have to wait.
Cheers,
Renay
- Protecting EOD time
- Packing up your stuff in advance
- Setting limits
I'm reading a book called, Good Enough is the New Perfect in which the authors describe working Moms as either being in the Never Enough camp or the Good Enough camp. The idea is that for some of us, we can never find satisfaction because we are always trying to get it all done perfectly. And for others of us (I should say "you" since I unfortunately fall into the former camp), we have decided that we can't realistically do it all perfectly and have to accept that some things are "good enough" in order for us to enjoy our families and to have our sanity and happiness. I think that my obsession with getting in that last 5 minutes at work and finishing up those final conversations comes from the thought that I should be able to manage all of this and still get my kids on time.
But I can't. So I need to take advantage of those Working Mothers' tips listed above. I need to shut down my computer at 4:40 to ensure I can get out the door on time. I need to say that I can't stay for another 5 minutes to discuss that topic. These things would be a step in the right direction. So tomorrow, I'm going to try to be Good Enough and get out the door when I need to. I'm vowing to get in my car on time and pick up my kids well in advance of school closing. That last email will have to wait.
Cheers,
Renay
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