Sibling Rivalry

Over the course of our long holiday weekend, I could not get over the fact that my kids are constantly bickering. They seem to have this love/argue thing going on; one minute, they are playing and are best friends. The next, they are arguing over every little thing.

As you ask yourself "Who cares? All brothers and sisters do that," please keep in mind that I am an only child. I never had a brother or sister to argue with. So this whole sibling thing is new territory for me. And I can tell you that I don't like it. Furthermore, I don't really know how to deal with it too well. Most of the time, I just get annoyed and tell them to stop, threatening punishment. That might work for about 2 minutes but then they are right back to fighting again.

And then there's my husband who, at 37 years old, still fights with his sister. So I don't get a lot of support or advice from him on the subject.

What is amazing, though, is watching the kids and knowing that someday they will hopefully have a great sibling friendship which is something that I never had. I can see that these relationships help to shape their personalities and enrich their lives. I also think that it introduces a bit of competition which is something that I think is good since, as adults, we run into fierce competition in everything that we do - especially in the business world.

But, for now, I will try to remain calm as I listen to my 4-yeard old yelling at my 7-year old, "Don't look out my window! Mom, he's looking out my window!"

Cheers,
Renay

Why can't there be swim lessons on Saturdays?

As a working parent, I sometimes feel discriminated against. There have been numerous times during the past few years that I have wanted to sign my children up for activities that are just not available on the weekends.

Being in the working world, I certainly understand that for businesses (especially small businesses) the frequency and timeframes in which services are delivered is dependent upon demand. In other words, if the business will get more customers during the week and not many on the weekends, then I understand that it may not be possible to offer services over the weekends.

That being said, we just recently signed up for a pool club after being on a waiting list for 2 years. As a family, we are all excited about this and are really looking forward to our upcoming summers there. But I have to admit that when I was told that they do not offer swim lessons over the weekends, I was a bit frustrated. I have now spoken with about 4 or 5 parents who all have the same issue. So why wouldn't they offer the lessons over the weekends? Or at 5pm so that I could at least leave a little bit early once per week to take the kids over.

Sometimes I want to shout to the world that the scheduling challenges for working families are tough and I wish that businesses, companies and individuals would spend a bit more time to make things accessible for all and not just the stay-at-home parents.

I have a few choices...pay for private lessons at the club, sign up somewhere else (probably will not get spots now since it's high season) or try to speak with someone at the club about the situation. We'll see how it goes...

Cheers,
Renay

Family Vacation in Europe?

This is more of a question than a post. We are considering a family vacation to London in the fall. It is our 10-year anniversary and we want to take a "big" trip (at least, something a bit more adult than Disney). We initially talked about going away without the kids but with a lack of family to help out with babysitting for a few days, coupled with the knowledge that I will miss them terribly after a day or two, we are now thinking about a family vacation to Europe.

London seems to stand out as a place that would likely be "kid friendly." My son will be 7 and my daughter is 4; I know that he will really enjoy it - Buckingham Palace, Wax Museum, Tower of London, etc. But I'm wondering how my daughter will do.

Does anyone have thoughts and/or have you taken a trip like this? We had talked about Ireland but I think it's too much driving for the kids. Jeff mentioned Rome - I cannot see that working out too well. We both feel that London would probably work. I welcome your comments and experiences.

Cheers,
Renay

One for the Dads

A colleague told me an awesome story about someone who he worked with at a previous company. I must share because it's a fun example of a high-powered man - a Dad with a baby at home who is also an executive at a large compay - having to set aside work priorities in order to take care of things at home. We will call him Joe.

A group of execs from this organization flew to New York for a big meeting. When they arrived for the meeting, Joe was nowhere to be found. They tried to call him but no answer. They delayed the meeting for an hour and Joe finally showed up an hour and a half late. When asked if everything was okay, Joe responded that his baby had thrown up on her bouncy seat so he had to wash the cover before he could leave.

Not only do I love the story but I love the honesty about why he was late. As a working Mom, it makes me shudder to think about giving an answer like that, although incidents like that happen all the time, don't they?

So I applaud Joe. Here's to all the Dads out there who understand that raising a family involves everyone in that family, whether you are a CEO, a consultant or a stay-at-home parent.

Cheers,
Renay

Successful CEO Moms

Last week, I attended the Boston Business Journal Pacesetters Breakfast to honor the fastest-growing private companies in the Boston area of which my company, Veroxity Technology Partners, was one. (Yeah for us!)

As I drank my fresh-squeezed orange juice - a big no-no on my low-carb diet - I listened to the panel of CEOs who discussed their key strategies for success. One of these CEOs was Kip Hollister of Hollister, Inc. Kip spoke of focus, strategy and staffing needs, relaying her thoughts on how to be successful in these key areas. But what struck me was that she also talked about the realities of being a working Mom and an executive in a hard-driving economic environment. She was honest about the fact that time for herself is often scarce and that you cannot be perfect in all of your roles at every moment. But if you have your priorities set up front and understand that turbulent times often call for flexibility, you can be more realistic about what you can and cannot do.

I applaud Kip for not only being a strong influence in the corporate world and an involved parent, but also her willingness to be up front about these responsibilities and to share her experiences with the world.

Cheers,
Renay

Battling the Mommy Guilt

I feel like I'm going to fall asleep as I type but I could not let this day go by without a post so here goes...hope that it makes sense.

I started my new job this week and really love it. The company has this great culture with talented, smart people who seem to enjoy what they do. At the same time, everyone seems very grounded and down-to-earth. So I am thrilled about it.

But Week #1 and I already have the Mommy Guilt complex. It doesn't matter that I was home for 4 months when I could have spent hours or even days at Zach's school for events, plays, etc. It doesn't matter that I now race home to help him with his homework, make dinner, spend time playing and reading books. You may be saying: "Why doesn't it matter?"

The answer? Because Zach's class put on a play yesterday that took place right in the middle of the day. And it was my second day of work. Did I mention that I was home for 4 months? Did I mention that during those 4 months, there were no plays, no school-day events, no calls to help out in the classroom? So why wouldn't there be this cute, adorable, first-grade play during my first few days of a new job?

To make matters even worse for me, I had a conversation with Zach the night before the play to let him know that neither me or Daddy would be able to attend. I thought he would start yelling at me, that he would bring the usual drama. But that was not the case. I told him and apologized, letting him know that I was very sad that I had to miss it with tears running down my face at the time. And he said to me: "That's okay, Mom." WHAT? That made it even worse!

One of the "good" Moms in the class was kind enough to provide a DVD that she had taken of the play and we all watched it tonight. Of course it was amazing. At the end of it, the teacher stood up in front of the class and the parents and said, "I have a request. There is a parent who could not make it who would love to see a video and/or pictures if any of you can pass these along." Translation in my head: "There is one horrible Mother who did not come to see her adorable son's cute play and now she wants to get the video from one of you good parents out there."

Okay, so I'm being dramatic. But I still feel so guilty. I want to be there for EVERYTHING and this is the first school event that I have missed. Zach, of course, seems fine with it. But I'm sure that I will continue to feel guilty for quite some time.

Cheers,
Renay

I want you to buy me something expensive!

These words were shouted by my 3-year old daughter today while I was browsing in a store. After many chuckles from the women shopping in the same aisle and my fruitless attempts to tell her that I was not buying her anything in the store, I caved. She wanted a $10 item which I told her was too much and then we settled on a $6 item. So I told myself that it wasn't a big deal since it wasn't as expensive and she did not get EXACTLY what she wanted.

Yes, I know...a lot of BS. The reality is that I found a few items I was interested in and just wanted a few minutes to shop in peace. So I did the horrible thing and gave in. As we left the store, I spent 5 minutes telling her how that would not happen again and that I was not about to buy her something every time we went into a store and blah, blah, blah. "Yes, Mom," she said in her cute little voice. Yeah, right.

It's amazing how much more diligent I was with my 6-year old. He never got away with things like this. But, as they say, the second child (and third, fourth, for those who have them) always gets away with more. Especially when they are adorable and cuddly with big brown eyes.

But I recognize that we need to do a better job with our kids when it comes to financial responsibility. They both get an allowance and Zach used to save and save his money. Until he decided that he wanted to buy a few different Lego sets. Jeff and I have both decided that we need to teach him to set aside a portion of his allowance for savings and the rest he can use to buy items of his choice when he is deserving of this privilege.

How do you teach your kids about financial responsibility? I would love to hear thoughts from others on this topic so feel free to share.

Cheers,
Renay