New Exercise Plan

Like many of the women I know, I am always trying to lose the 10 pounds that I never shed after my daughter was born. I am also coming to the realization - finally - that my body will just never be the same as it was pre-kids. And I know that all of the magazines tell you to "love your mommy body" but this mommy just can't seem to do that.

I also seem to suffer from, "I will start eating right and cut out all of those carbs but OH - just look at that small bowl of pasta calling my name and I will start eating better at my next meal" affliction. I have much less willpower than I used to.

So that leads me to understand that I need to exercise, something that I did faithfully in my 20's and early 30's, doing classes at the gym in combination with a routine of ab crunches and free weights about 4 times per week. It goes without saying that with my train+bus commute and a desire to see my children for more than 10 minutes each day, there is no way that I can fit in a regular schedule of gym time for an hour or more on any kind of regular basis.

BUT, I have a new plan! Instead of trying to carve out an impossible routine, I am now committed to long walks at lunchtime at least 3 times per week. And, I am working my arms each day for 5-10 minutes before going to bed. Then, I hope to add stomach crunches during the morning prior to getting dressed. I think that for working moms, we have to eek out the time that we can for ouselves so if that means splitting up the time into shorter stints, then I guess that's what we have to do. But I can tell you that it felt good last night to know that I had done my long walk and then worked on my upper body muscles without having to sacrifice my family time - and that is definitely worth it.

Cheers!
Renay

Guilt

Today's post is entirely selfish - I need to expunge my guilt for the day. My daughter's classroom teachers have invited the parents in for a luncheon. Due to my new, lengthier commute that involves trains and buses, it is completely unfeasible for me to attend and I feel terribly guilty about it.

Having said that, my husband consoled me this morning by reminding me that I left work early last Friday to take both kids to a spaghetti dinner at my son's school and then spent the weekend partying with my daughter for her third birthday party.

The reality is that we want to be there for everything - every dinner, every dance class, every early release day. But as working parents, we always have hard choices to make. I know that I do whatever I can to be at all of the important events and many of the day-to-day things that come up. It's about that scale that balances back and forth...today it will have to balance towards the work side of the scale and I will tell myself that that is okay.

Renay

Save the Schools!

Like many of us in Massachusetts, my husband and I diligently went out to vote in our town this week. Aside from the list of local officials, we voted on the $2.8M override to the budget that would enable Chelmsford to keep from closing a local elementary school, as well as a fire station.

Much to our dismay, the override did not pass which means that both the school and the station will be shut down. In addition to the obvious safety issues posed by the closing of the fire station, we are particularly concerned about the school closure. In my opinion, everyone loses here - the kids first and foremost, the teachers who have dedicated their careers to education, the school staff, the parents and really the entire town.

I understand the issue for those who lived on very tight and fixed incomes. I get it. But in addition to those people, there are others who may have children at the tail end of their high school years who feel that they should not have to spend the additional money. This is absolutely ludicrous to me and is a perfect example of the lack of community that is apparent in our society.

The reality is that my taxes have gone up like crazy in the past few years. So, honestly, the additional $200 per year does not seem like a major burden to handle in light of these increases, especially if it means that children can have access to greater resources. And I can guarantee you that when my kids are grown and have gone through school, I will continue to recognize the value of education and the importance of these resources. Good schools attract young families and fuel growth which benefits the community and me personally. Maybe if others shared this belief, we wouldn't be closing schools.

I welcome any suggestions, comments so please respond. And I hope that you don't have to see school closures in your town.

Renay

Can I really be jealous of Dora the Explorer?

So at 13.5 months, Torin still only jibber jabbers, only says mama when he's really upset, will say dada occasionally, but that's the only words that we can understand. So when I tell you that I felt disgruntled towards a stuffed toy, you must understand that all I want is to hear my child look at me with that love in his eyes as he always does, and utter that word "mama". Today, after work, we played hide and seek with his big sister. We were hiding in her room and Torin points to a large stuffed doll and says DORA! I could have cried......I hate Dora and her cousin Diego (who Maya at age 3 still thinks is HER cousin). Dora is a character that I can't escape. She has infiltrated my home with her face plastered on sneakers, bedding, clothes, and yes, 400 different doll sizes.

At bed time, my mama's boy of a Son sang to me his jibbery jabbery bedtime songs, smiled, sneezed and did all the cute things that he does and then I could feel the moment that I was waiting for approach. My little Angel touched my face with the palm of his hand, paused and said...."dada"...well it's better than Dora, so I'll take it. And least I forget, there are 4 million lead infested Dora's and only one diet coke contaminated Me!

The Contradiction of "Family Values" in the US

I don't generally get political but it truly amazes me that in a country where our politician spew forth comments about bringing family values back, the US is towards the bottom of the list of progress when it comes to things like maternity leave and childcare options.

In various European countries, paid maternity leave is the norm and family leave is common. There are also options for subsidized childcare.

Yet here in the US, female employees are lucky if they can take their FMLA leave and many organizations do not pay for maternity leave. And forget the concept of men taking FMLA - I am told by my male counterparts that any man who asks for this is laughed at and this is not considered acceptable.

So while in many countries there are various resources that families can take advantage of, in addition to cultural norms that involve the help of extended family in raising children, we are not so fortunate. I am sure that you can relate - as American families, we are very much on our own. Unless we have relatives who live close by and have the availability to help, we are left to find childcare, babysitters, programs and activities that enable us to be working parents. But wouldn't be amazing if we had some help instead of feeling incredibly alone in this endeavor?

I challenge you all to assemble your resources. Sometimes these come from places that we never think of and sometimes having discussions with other working parents give us new ideas. When "Working Moms Make It Work" launches events, we will do just that. Stay tuned...

Cheers,
Renay

Hungary Hippo colonoscopy

What a beautiful Sunday! I am catching up writing thank you notes for my 1 year olds birthday party (5 weeks ago)...Maya is "playing" Hungary Hippos which means that she's taking the fishing rod from the Go Fish game and putting in the Hippo's back end, than making Henry Hippo eat the round balls (which is how the game is really supposed to be played). I feel bad for her future boyfriends! Torin is next to her on the floor playing with her princess figurines and crushing them with his Little People Worksite. I used to try and act like the nonstop princess play was no big deal....but I have to say, I was slightly relieved to see the figurines get a little roughened up. Torin also LOVES a purse...I need to buy him a "ManBag".

Okay, simultaneous meltdowns occurring.....

Blackberrys and pottys don't mix!

Since I wasn't able to travel to see my family at Christmas this year...my mother-in-law died on Christmas day....I had to postpone the dreaded 8 hour drive with a 1 & 3 year old until February. I was committed to taking a few days with my family and then working 1/2 days the other 3, since I've run out of vacation due to sick kids. I am proud to say that I held true to my goal and I really didn't work for a long weekend. I unfortunately found that it took almost 10 hours to work a 4 hour day, as "Grammy" underestimated how busy little ones can be. She also underestimated how quick a 1 year old can move. "Grammy", who has an important job with the state, had to hang her head and call in to say that her grandson put her blackberry in the toilet. She's also hoping that no one gets ahold of the cute picture of her with Chuck.E.Cheese, the one with a small greasy handprint on her shirt right smack dab on her boob.

I enjoyed a little "me" time at Ann Taylor after "Grammy" paid me off since she couldn't pull her weight in keeping them entertained while I worked. I've learned to take bribes and just say thank you.

Can't say I'm looking forward to the drive home. I hear that there is a Winter Advisory in New England. Hurray...the 8 hours and soon be 12! Maybe I'll miss my schedule bikini wax tomorrow! I can only hope. I'm already gearing up to be mad at my husband because I heard it hurts....