Are you a control freak?

I am. Don't believe me? Here are some examples:

• I have been known to stand next to my daughter while she's eating so that I can quickly wipe the dripping food from her mouth.
• I don't let my husband fold my laundry because I don't like how he does it.
• I practically knocked a colleague out of the way when he was putting up holiday decorations for an office party because I didn't like where he was placing them.

Think I'm nuts? I'll bet some of my readers would be able to relate to these stories. I tell you about my obsessive tendencies because I have been able to overcome them in small ways. I find that by letting go of one thing at a time, it makes things less overwhelming.

If you delegate one thing at work this week, you will get a feel for letting go. And then maybe next week, you can choose not to freak out when your little girl has to wear her princess t-shirt for the third day in a row. And then the week after that, you can zip your mouth when your husband puts the dishes away in the wrong places even though he has used the same things in the same cabinets forever.

Hey, I said I was trying to let go but I don't have to be happy about it all the time.

Cheers!

Happy Mother's Day

If you are like me, you have received a million emails and offers re: Mother's Day. So I won't belabor the point. But I would like to wish my friends and family, as well as all of the mothers out there, a Happy Mom's Day.

Just as an aside, I told my husband that we (meaning us and the kids, in addition to my parents) should go out for brunch. To this he said, "I don't want to spend the whole day eating - I want to go out for breakfast." So, I tried to remind him that it's called MOTHER'S Day for a reason and if I want to spend the whole day stuffing myself with french toast and mimosas, then that's my prerogative. So go ahead and treat yourself to the kind of day you want, whether that's bike riding with your kids, sleeping all day or going to a movie.

Enjoy!

Empower Yourself

The other day, I read a book review that included a very keen observation of women and men in the workplace. If a man has something to attend to that takes him out of the office during regular business hours, he lets people know that he will be out and that's the end of it. However, if a woman has an outside commitment, she tells all about it - what she has to do, how long it will take and throw in an apology at the end of it all. This does not necessarily include all women but there are many of us who are guilty of this.

That being said, I recently made the determination that I need to work from home from time to time. I have a much longer commute that takes me away from my family much more than in the past so I recognize that I need to do this in order to stay connected with my kids and what's going on for them at school.

When I mentally decided to do this, I started working through a whole speech in my head that I would deliver to my boss - why I needed to do this, how often, etc. Somewhere after this mental speech was developed, I stopped and thought about whether this was truly necessary. The real answer is that it's not. I'm a professional and have a proven track record of excellent work that exceeds expectations. And when I work from home, I am actually less distracted than I am at the office, accomplishing my work in less time.

Although I'm often hard on myself, I would like to publicly give myself a pat on the back, both for recognizing and changing my behavior for the better.

Today, I am working from home and spent an hour helping out at my son's school. I got to watch him interact with other kids, speak to his teacher and reconnect with his daily routine. That hour was priceless. So here's to working mothers who empower themselves and stay true to their priorities. I am one of those mothers today and proud to be.

Cheers!
Renay

New Exercise Plan

Like many of the women I know, I am always trying to lose the 10 pounds that I never shed after my daughter was born. I am also coming to the realization - finally - that my body will just never be the same as it was pre-kids. And I know that all of the magazines tell you to "love your mommy body" but this mommy just can't seem to do that.

I also seem to suffer from, "I will start eating right and cut out all of those carbs but OH - just look at that small bowl of pasta calling my name and I will start eating better at my next meal" affliction. I have much less willpower than I used to.

So that leads me to understand that I need to exercise, something that I did faithfully in my 20's and early 30's, doing classes at the gym in combination with a routine of ab crunches and free weights about 4 times per week. It goes without saying that with my train+bus commute and a desire to see my children for more than 10 minutes each day, there is no way that I can fit in a regular schedule of gym time for an hour or more on any kind of regular basis.

BUT, I have a new plan! Instead of trying to carve out an impossible routine, I am now committed to long walks at lunchtime at least 3 times per week. And, I am working my arms each day for 5-10 minutes before going to bed. Then, I hope to add stomach crunches during the morning prior to getting dressed. I think that for working moms, we have to eek out the time that we can for ouselves so if that means splitting up the time into shorter stints, then I guess that's what we have to do. But I can tell you that it felt good last night to know that I had done my long walk and then worked on my upper body muscles without having to sacrifice my family time - and that is definitely worth it.

Cheers!
Renay

Guilt

Today's post is entirely selfish - I need to expunge my guilt for the day. My daughter's classroom teachers have invited the parents in for a luncheon. Due to my new, lengthier commute that involves trains and buses, it is completely unfeasible for me to attend and I feel terribly guilty about it.

Having said that, my husband consoled me this morning by reminding me that I left work early last Friday to take both kids to a spaghetti dinner at my son's school and then spent the weekend partying with my daughter for her third birthday party.

The reality is that we want to be there for everything - every dinner, every dance class, every early release day. But as working parents, we always have hard choices to make. I know that I do whatever I can to be at all of the important events and many of the day-to-day things that come up. It's about that scale that balances back and forth...today it will have to balance towards the work side of the scale and I will tell myself that that is okay.

Renay

Save the Schools!

Like many of us in Massachusetts, my husband and I diligently went out to vote in our town this week. Aside from the list of local officials, we voted on the $2.8M override to the budget that would enable Chelmsford to keep from closing a local elementary school, as well as a fire station.

Much to our dismay, the override did not pass which means that both the school and the station will be shut down. In addition to the obvious safety issues posed by the closing of the fire station, we are particularly concerned about the school closure. In my opinion, everyone loses here - the kids first and foremost, the teachers who have dedicated their careers to education, the school staff, the parents and really the entire town.

I understand the issue for those who lived on very tight and fixed incomes. I get it. But in addition to those people, there are others who may have children at the tail end of their high school years who feel that they should not have to spend the additional money. This is absolutely ludicrous to me and is a perfect example of the lack of community that is apparent in our society.

The reality is that my taxes have gone up like crazy in the past few years. So, honestly, the additional $200 per year does not seem like a major burden to handle in light of these increases, especially if it means that children can have access to greater resources. And I can guarantee you that when my kids are grown and have gone through school, I will continue to recognize the value of education and the importance of these resources. Good schools attract young families and fuel growth which benefits the community and me personally. Maybe if others shared this belief, we wouldn't be closing schools.

I welcome any suggestions, comments so please respond. And I hope that you don't have to see school closures in your town.

Renay

Can I really be jealous of Dora the Explorer?

So at 13.5 months, Torin still only jibber jabbers, only says mama when he's really upset, will say dada occasionally, but that's the only words that we can understand. So when I tell you that I felt disgruntled towards a stuffed toy, you must understand that all I want is to hear my child look at me with that love in his eyes as he always does, and utter that word "mama". Today, after work, we played hide and seek with his big sister. We were hiding in her room and Torin points to a large stuffed doll and says DORA! I could have cried......I hate Dora and her cousin Diego (who Maya at age 3 still thinks is HER cousin). Dora is a character that I can't escape. She has infiltrated my home with her face plastered on sneakers, bedding, clothes, and yes, 400 different doll sizes.

At bed time, my mama's boy of a Son sang to me his jibbery jabbery bedtime songs, smiled, sneezed and did all the cute things that he does and then I could feel the moment that I was waiting for approach. My little Angel touched my face with the palm of his hand, paused and said...."dada"...well it's better than Dora, so I'll take it. And least I forget, there are 4 million lead infested Dora's and only one diet coke contaminated Me!