It's not a unique title but I have been thinking for weeks about how to write this one. I was laid off from my job over a month ago. I have been wanting to blog about it ever since I found out but as I went through a variety of stages and emotions, I decided to hold off.
My career has always been important to me and, in my most recent position, there was a time when it was possibly the perfect job. That lasted for several years. I was able to build something that was interesting, successful, profitable and career-changing. I grew as a professional and as an individual. I worked with incredible people; we were all dedicated to our jobs and the company and worked for someone who was a true leader in every sense of the word. It was inspiring.
But then things changed. I could elaborate on the details but it would not be worth it. Suffice it to say that I helped to build something great and feel incredibly fortunate to have been a part of it. It took a while for me to get here but with each day that passes, I remember the good parts, the great years. And that's what is important.
And with change comes a renewed look at what we want in our lives, at what is important. I am excited about that next opportunity that enables me to use my experiences, both the good and the bad.
Cheers,
Renay
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
My Six Year Old Got to Vote!
I took my son with me to vote this morning. He has been very interested in the election this year. That being said, I was very excited to learn that his principle stated that it was "unfair" that kids don't get to vote and so she decided to hold an election at their school. How cool!
The school overall voted for Obama.
And, in the spirit of including everyone, my daughter also got to vote at her preschool today. The kids could vote for either blue or red milk. She voted for red and apparently red is the winner.
These are both great ways to encourage our kids to be interested and involved in what is going on in our country.
Happy Election Day!
Cheers,
Renay
The school overall voted for Obama.
And, in the spirit of including everyone, my daughter also got to vote at her preschool today. The kids could vote for either blue or red milk. She voted for red and apparently red is the winner.
These are both great ways to encourage our kids to be interested and involved in what is going on in our country.
Happy Election Day!
Cheers,
Renay
Monday, November 3, 2008
Moms Rising
While many of you have probably heard about this group, I just learned about it this week: www.momsrising.com. As I do some exploring, I can see that they are not only committed to helping Moms figure out what resources they need, they are also involved in spreading the idea that as a nation, we need to shift our corporate structure for working families.
Gone are the days when most Moms are at home while their husbands bring home the bacon. Working mothers make up a huge portion of the American workforce and companies need to start recognizing that it's no longer okay to ignore the needs of working families.
I just read the description of their book, "The Motherhood Manifesto," and it sounds like a must-read, not only for working mothers but for all. Job flexibility, locating quality daycare, and affordable healthcare are things that we are all concerned with. So check it out and let me know what you think.
Cheers!
Renay
Gone are the days when most Moms are at home while their husbands bring home the bacon. Working mothers make up a huge portion of the American workforce and companies need to start recognizing that it's no longer okay to ignore the needs of working families.
I just read the description of their book, "The Motherhood Manifesto," and it sounds like a must-read, not only for working mothers but for all. Job flexibility, locating quality daycare, and affordable healthcare are things that we are all concerned with. So check it out and let me know what you think.
Cheers!
Renay
Friday, September 26, 2008
Always On
As I sit here on the train with my laptop + broadband card, Blackberry at the ready, sitting next to my husband, it strikes me that we are always connected. I thought that it was great when my boss gave me a shiny new broadband card (at my prompting, by the way) so that I could now do work during my commute. But I recognize that I just sacrificed something...that short space of time that I have to myself before getting to the office and at the end of the day.
Yet I feel addicted. Why? What goes through my head is, "If I can just get through these emails now, then I will have a much clearer day to attack my projects." In that sense, it is helpful but the reality is that I have no downtime during my day.
This, of course, is after I ran out of the house this morning after writing checks for my son's magazine subscription for school, making lunch, and doing all of my Mommy stuff.
I know that I need to better manage my stress. Maybe I should just return the broadband card to my IT Manager...better yet, just lock it away for the weekend.
Cheers!
Renay
Yet I feel addicted. Why? What goes through my head is, "If I can just get through these emails now, then I will have a much clearer day to attack my projects." In that sense, it is helpful but the reality is that I have no downtime during my day.
This, of course, is after I ran out of the house this morning after writing checks for my son's magazine subscription for school, making lunch, and doing all of my Mommy stuff.
I know that I need to better manage my stress. Maybe I should just return the broadband card to my IT Manager...better yet, just lock it away for the weekend.
Cheers!
Renay
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
When Will Our Public Schools Go Green?
I cannot tell you how much paper I get from my son's public elementary school. Every day, I open up his overfilled backpack and a plethora of paperwork falls out. There are club invitations, weekly curriculum updates, school association events, the list goes on.
Don't get me wrong...I LOVE the information and I truly want to stay informed. But why can't they use email and websites to do this? I know that there are some schools where the teachers do have their own web pages for homework and information postings but not ours.
So the bottom line is that our kids go to computer lab, our teachers probably create their materials on computers but yet we can't seem to use them for announcements...this doesn't make any sense to me. Are there any companies that have developed school website portals that are inexpensive who could sell to the public school system? Maybe this service does exist - if you are a company that does provide this or know of one, please let me know.
Cheers!
Renay
Don't get me wrong...I LOVE the information and I truly want to stay informed. But why can't they use email and websites to do this? I know that there are some schools where the teachers do have their own web pages for homework and information postings but not ours.
So the bottom line is that our kids go to computer lab, our teachers probably create their materials on computers but yet we can't seem to use them for announcements...this doesn't make any sense to me. Are there any companies that have developed school website portals that are inexpensive who could sell to the public school system? Maybe this service does exist - if you are a company that does provide this or know of one, please let me know.
Cheers!
Renay
Monday, August 11, 2008
Quote of the week
This one comes from my 3-year old daughter: "When girls get dressed up, boys marry them."
I'm still trying to figure out where this comes from. I suppose she decided that this is how the whole marriage thing works when she looks at our wedding picture. Either way, I thought it was hysterical. It also gets me thinking about the socialization process. As our kids navigate their social surroundings, it's interesting to see their likes/dislikes, preferences, friendships, etc.
There are also other amazing things about this, like how 2 kids in the same family can be so different. And also how our children manifest some of the same behaviors and personalities that we have, for better or worse. There are still more actions/behaviors that leave me thinking, "Wow! I wish I was like that as a kid."
As much as I hope that my kids learn from me, I think I learn more from them. I learn about them and about myself...for better or worse.
Cheers!
Renay
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Vacationing with Young Kids
Ah, the promise of a seaside vacation in New England where we get 2 good months of warm weather per year. Could there be anything better? As I sit in my office, I think about how wonderful it will be...my 6-year old son and my 3-year old daughter frolicking in the waves, the warm sun hitting my face as I casually read through my magazine and occasionally laugh at a joke made by my insanely-funny husband. We sip lemonade, eat grapes and take beautiful family pictures.
Sound like a familiar dream? Welcome to the reality of the family vacation...it takes us 2 hours to get out of the condo and onto the beach, my daughter screams the whole way to the water because the sand it too hot, my son demands snacks as soon as we sit down and my husband and I spend the entire 3 hours catering to their every need before heading back to the condo to collapse from exhaustion. My friend Britt just found this out during her recent family vacation.
But you know what? It's fun and it's just our time to be a family. So I am truly excited. My house is a disaster because my husband has to take every possible item that we own even though we will only be gone for a week, I will be chasing after my daughter tonight after promising to polish her nails with the purple nail polish she insisted that I had to buy her and apply before vacation, and spending the next 24-hours preparing for what appears to be the equivalent of preparing for life in a bomb shelter with no hope of return.
Still, I can't wait...
Cheers!
Renay
Sound like a familiar dream? Welcome to the reality of the family vacation...it takes us 2 hours to get out of the condo and onto the beach, my daughter screams the whole way to the water because the sand it too hot, my son demands snacks as soon as we sit down and my husband and I spend the entire 3 hours catering to their every need before heading back to the condo to collapse from exhaustion. My friend Britt just found this out during her recent family vacation.
But you know what? It's fun and it's just our time to be a family. So I am truly excited. My house is a disaster because my husband has to take every possible item that we own even though we will only be gone for a week, I will be chasing after my daughter tonight after promising to polish her nails with the purple nail polish she insisted that I had to buy her and apply before vacation, and spending the next 24-hours preparing for what appears to be the equivalent of preparing for life in a bomb shelter with no hope of return.
Still, I can't wait...
Cheers!
Renay
Monday, July 7, 2008
Living a Child-Centric Life
Happy Belated Fourth of July to everyone! Hope it was wonderful and filled with lots of BBQs and relaxation. We had a wonderful holiday weekend - our good friends invited us up to their condo in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. We had a blast - Storyland for the kids, dinner out, swimming in the river, etc.
It was all great until we were driving home. The kids were crabby and arguing, as always and we hit a good amount of traffic. I was not feeling entirely great. And then it struck me - the fact that we would be passing the LL Bean outlet that I am never able to get to. So, I mentioned this factoid to my husband who then proceeded to joke around with me about it with that "there's no chance in hell that we're stopping there" look in his eyes. I became overly annoyed about the whole thing and did not speak to him the entire way home...and beyond. He later explained that it was not really feasible because the kids were tired and would give us a hard time, whether they had to wait in the car or in the store.
Okay, I get it. And I know that he was right - they would have made our lives miserable the entire time. But it got me thinking about how crazy it seems that my children completely run my life. I love them more than anything in the world but I can certainly remember lots of trips to stores that I hated as a kid. And certainly my parents never asked me or even told me I was going. We were just going and then was the end of it. But I find with our own kids, we are so focused around their every need that it often becomes all-consuming. I think there needs to be more of a balance - maybe our lives would be a bit easier, a bit more livable if we could take them on a few errands, to the grocery store and, yes, even to the LL Bean Outlet once in a while.
What do you think? I know - you think that I just have a shopping addiction that needs to be indulged. You're probably right...but tell me your thoughts anyway.
Cheers!
Renay
It was all great until we were driving home. The kids were crabby and arguing, as always and we hit a good amount of traffic. I was not feeling entirely great. And then it struck me - the fact that we would be passing the LL Bean outlet that I am never able to get to. So, I mentioned this factoid to my husband who then proceeded to joke around with me about it with that "there's no chance in hell that we're stopping there" look in his eyes. I became overly annoyed about the whole thing and did not speak to him the entire way home...and beyond. He later explained that it was not really feasible because the kids were tired and would give us a hard time, whether they had to wait in the car or in the store.
Okay, I get it. And I know that he was right - they would have made our lives miserable the entire time. But it got me thinking about how crazy it seems that my children completely run my life. I love them more than anything in the world but I can certainly remember lots of trips to stores that I hated as a kid. And certainly my parents never asked me or even told me I was going. We were just going and then was the end of it. But I find with our own kids, we are so focused around their every need that it often becomes all-consuming. I think there needs to be more of a balance - maybe our lives would be a bit easier, a bit more livable if we could take them on a few errands, to the grocery store and, yes, even to the LL Bean Outlet once in a while.
What do you think? I know - you think that I just have a shopping addiction that needs to be indulged. You're probably right...but tell me your thoughts anyway.
Cheers!
Renay
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Organizing Your Inbox
As you may already know, I am constantly struggling with my organization systems. I find myself wavering between a complete state of disorganization and the occasional burst of activity that will move me to a more organized situation. My disorganization usually takes over in the end due to the 800 things I am trying to keep track of at any given time.
Email is definitely a struggle. I'm an incredibly detail-oriented person - which is good and bad - and I'm a pack rat, saving those emails from 2004 that I may need to reference someday...in an alternate universe.
I subscribe to Cristin Lind's blog out on Clearwater Productivity and today received an interesting post about email organization that I would like to share entitled: "How to Completely Empty Your Email Inbox." You can certainly imagine my delight when I saw this title and immediately read Cristin's tips. So check it out if you are interested in gaining more organization.
And, um, if you are like me and still have that "thank you for logging in" email from 2004, it's probably safe to delete it.
Cheers,
Renay
Email is definitely a struggle. I'm an incredibly detail-oriented person - which is good and bad - and I'm a pack rat, saving those emails from 2004 that I may need to reference someday...in an alternate universe.
I subscribe to Cristin Lind's blog out on Clearwater Productivity and today received an interesting post about email organization that I would like to share entitled: "How to Completely Empty Your Email Inbox." You can certainly imagine my delight when I saw this title and immediately read Cristin's tips. So check it out if you are interested in gaining more organization.
And, um, if you are like me and still have that "thank you for logging in" email from 2004, it's probably safe to delete it.
Cheers,
Renay
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Hug Your Kids Today, Part 2
So it's been a while since I last blogged - just a crazy few weeks! We have had some great things going on...birthdays, weddings and, Zachary is closing out his Kindergarten year. He was a lion in an end of school play and I cried through the whole thing, of course.
In a previous post, I mentioned the Hug Your Kids Today holiday coming up on July 21st. I wanted to call your attention to the website and blog where there is a new book available called, "Hug Your Kids Today! Five Key Lessons for Every Working Parent." I can't wait to read it and would also like you to check out Michelle's recent post entitled, "Forget Work-Life Balance - It's the Wrong Goal." Definitely food for thought...
Cheers!
Renay
In a previous post, I mentioned the Hug Your Kids Today holiday coming up on July 21st. I wanted to call your attention to the website and blog where there is a new book available called, "Hug Your Kids Today! Five Key Lessons for Every Working Parent." I can't wait to read it and would also like you to check out Michelle's recent post entitled, "Forget Work-Life Balance - It's the Wrong Goal." Definitely food for thought...
Cheers!
Renay
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tales from the Soccer Field
As I watched my almost 6 year old son play U6 soccer this weekend, I saw this transformation. My little sweet boy was suddenly much more aggressive and scoring goals all over the place. Now this was great but, in the process, I saw a few of the other kids feeling bad because they could not keep up with him. I also saw him engage in a few "not so sportsmanlike" comments with the other team.
As parents, we walk a fine line when helping our kids navigate the social landscape. Having been a quiet child, I don't want Zachary to be pushed around the way that I sometimes was but I also don't want him to be the bully. As I talk to other parents, it seems to be a common concern.
So how do you walk that line? And, as parents working together towards this goal, it's becoming apparent that my husband and I don't always share common beliefs. So there are also some stereotypes and gender parenting differences at play. I would welcome other thoughts on this subject so please feel free to post.
Cheers!
As parents, we walk a fine line when helping our kids navigate the social landscape. Having been a quiet child, I don't want Zachary to be pushed around the way that I sometimes was but I also don't want him to be the bully. As I talk to other parents, it seems to be a common concern.
So how do you walk that line? And, as parents working together towards this goal, it's becoming apparent that my husband and I don't always share common beliefs. So there are also some stereotypes and gender parenting differences at play. I would welcome other thoughts on this subject so please feel free to post.
Cheers!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
National Hug Your Kids Day
This morning I read a newsletter that highlighted the efforts of Michelle Nichols, a former writer of BusinessWeek.com and creator of National Hug Your Kids Day on July 21. On her website, Michelle speaks about how important it is for working parents to connect with their kids: www.hugyourkidstoday.com
This article and concept really resonates with me. You know the deal...how do we get our jobs done, meet those deadlines while trying to help out at school, be there for games and attending school events? There's no easy way. But if you can do it, if you can leave early and put in extra time from home after the kids are in bed, then DO IT.
As I have said in previous posts, there are days when I'm a better employee - working late, attending evening events that are important for my company. And there are some days when I'm a better mother. But it's always important to keep the priorities straight, to know what matters most. My job is very fulfilling and interesting. It's important to me to excel, to make my mark. But nothing is more important to me than my family.
Please join me in celebrating National Hug Your Kids Day on July 21 - what a great concept!
Cheers!
This article and concept really resonates with me. You know the deal...how do we get our jobs done, meet those deadlines while trying to help out at school, be there for games and attending school events? There's no easy way. But if you can do it, if you can leave early and put in extra time from home after the kids are in bed, then DO IT.
As I have said in previous posts, there are days when I'm a better employee - working late, attending evening events that are important for my company. And there are some days when I'm a better mother. But it's always important to keep the priorities straight, to know what matters most. My job is very fulfilling and interesting. It's important to me to excel, to make my mark. But nothing is more important to me than my family.
Please join me in celebrating National Hug Your Kids Day on July 21 - what a great concept!
Cheers!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Are you a control freak?
I am. Don't believe me? Here are some examples:
Think I'm nuts? I'll bet some of my readers would be able to relate to these stories. I tell you about my obsessive tendencies because I have been able to overcome them in small ways. I find that by letting go of one thing at a time, it makes things less overwhelming.
If you delegate one thing at work this week, you will get a feel for letting go. And then maybe next week, you can choose not to freak out when your little girl has to wear her princess t-shirt for the third day in a row. And then the week after that, you can zip your mouth when your husband puts the dishes away in the wrong places even though he has used the same things in the same cabinets forever.
Hey, I said I was trying to let go but I don't have to be happy about it all the time.
Cheers!
- I have been known to stand next to my daughter while she's eating so that I can quickly wipe the dripping food from her mouth.
- I don't let my husband fold my laundry because I don't like how he does it.
- I practically knocked a colleague out of the way when he was putting up holiday decorations for an office party because I didn't like where he was placing them.
Think I'm nuts? I'll bet some of my readers would be able to relate to these stories. I tell you about my obsessive tendencies because I have been able to overcome them in small ways. I find that by letting go of one thing at a time, it makes things less overwhelming.
If you delegate one thing at work this week, you will get a feel for letting go. And then maybe next week, you can choose not to freak out when your little girl has to wear her princess t-shirt for the third day in a row. And then the week after that, you can zip your mouth when your husband puts the dishes away in the wrong places even though he has used the same things in the same cabinets forever.
Hey, I said I was trying to let go but I don't have to be happy about it all the time.
Cheers!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
If you are like me, you have received a million emails and offers re: Mother's Day. So I won't belabor the point. But I would like to wish my friends and family, as well as all of the mothers out there, a Happy Mom's Day.
Just as an aside, I told my husband that we (meaning us and the kids, in addition to my parents) should go out for brunch. To this he said, "I don't want to spend the whole day eating - I want to go out for breakfast." So, I tried to remind him that it's called MOTHER'S Day for a reason and if I want to spend the whole day stuffing myself with french toast and mimosas, then that's my prerogative. So go ahead and treat yourself to the kind of day you want, whether that's bike riding with your kids, sleeping all day or going to a movie.
Enjoy!
Just as an aside, I told my husband that we (meaning us and the kids, in addition to my parents) should go out for brunch. To this he said, "I don't want to spend the whole day eating - I want to go out for breakfast." So, I tried to remind him that it's called MOTHER'S Day for a reason and if I want to spend the whole day stuffing myself with french toast and mimosas, then that's my prerogative. So go ahead and treat yourself to the kind of day you want, whether that's bike riding with your kids, sleeping all day or going to a movie.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Empower Yourself
The other day, I read a book review that included a very keen observation of women and men in the workplace. If a man has something to attend to that takes him out of the office during regular business hours, he lets people know that he will be out and that's the end of it. However, if a woman has an outside commitment, she tells all about it - what she has to do, how long it will take and throw in an apology at the end of it all. This does not necessarily include all women but there are many of us who are guilty of this.
That being said, I recently made the determination that I need to work from home from time to time. I have a much longer commute that takes me away from my family much more than in the past so I recognize that I need to do this in order to stay connected with my kids and what's going on for them at school.
When I mentally decided to do this, I started working through a whole speech in my head that I would deliver to my boss - why I needed to do this, how often, etc. Somewhere after this mental speech was developed, I stopped and thought about whether this was truly necessary. The real answer is that it's not. I'm a professional and have a proven track record of excellent work that exceeds expectations. And when I work from home, I am actually less distracted than I am at the office, accomplishing my work in less time.
Although I'm often hard on myself, I would like to publicly give myself a pat on the back, both for recognizing and changing my behavior for the better.
Today, I am working from home and spent an hour helping out at my son's school. I got to watch him interact with other kids, speak to his teacher and reconnect with his daily routine. That hour was priceless. So here's to working mothers who empower themselves and stay true to their priorities. I am one of those mothers today and proud to be.
Cheers!
Renay
That being said, I recently made the determination that I need to work from home from time to time. I have a much longer commute that takes me away from my family much more than in the past so I recognize that I need to do this in order to stay connected with my kids and what's going on for them at school.
When I mentally decided to do this, I started working through a whole speech in my head that I would deliver to my boss - why I needed to do this, how often, etc. Somewhere after this mental speech was developed, I stopped and thought about whether this was truly necessary. The real answer is that it's not. I'm a professional and have a proven track record of excellent work that exceeds expectations. And when I work from home, I am actually less distracted than I am at the office, accomplishing my work in less time.
Although I'm often hard on myself, I would like to publicly give myself a pat on the back, both for recognizing and changing my behavior for the better.
Today, I am working from home and spent an hour helping out at my son's school. I got to watch him interact with other kids, speak to his teacher and reconnect with his daily routine. That hour was priceless. So here's to working mothers who empower themselves and stay true to their priorities. I am one of those mothers today and proud to be.
Cheers!
Renay
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
New Exercise Plan
Like many of the women I know, I am always trying to lose the 10 pounds that I never shed after my daughter was born. I am also coming to the realization - finally - that my body will just never be the same as it was pre-kids. And I know that all of the magazines tell you to "love your mommy body" but this mommy just can't seem to do that.
I also seem to suffer from, "I will start eating right and cut out all of those carbs but OH - just look at that small bowl of pasta calling my name and I will start eating better at my next meal" affliction. I have much less willpower than I used to.
So that leads me to understand that I need to exercise, something that I did faithfully in my 20's and early 30's, doing classes at the gym in combination with a routine of ab crunches and free weights about 4 times per week. It goes without saying that with my train+bus commute and a desire to see my children for more than 10 minutes each day, there is no way that I can fit in a regular schedule of gym time for an hour or more on any kind of regular basis.
BUT, I have a new plan! Instead of trying to carve out an impossible routine, I am now committed to long walks at lunchtime at least 3 times per week. And, I am working my arms each day for 5-10 minutes before going to bed. Then, I hope to add stomach crunches during the morning prior to getting dressed. I think that for working moms, we have to eek out the time that we can for ouselves so if that means splitting up the time into shorter stints, then I guess that's what we have to do. But I can tell you that it felt good last night to know that I had done my long walk and then worked on my upper body muscles without having to sacrifice my family time - and that is definitely worth it.
Cheers!
Renay
I also seem to suffer from, "I will start eating right and cut out all of those carbs but OH - just look at that small bowl of pasta calling my name and I will start eating better at my next meal" affliction. I have much less willpower than I used to.
So that leads me to understand that I need to exercise, something that I did faithfully in my 20's and early 30's, doing classes at the gym in combination with a routine of ab crunches and free weights about 4 times per week. It goes without saying that with my train+bus commute and a desire to see my children for more than 10 minutes each day, there is no way that I can fit in a regular schedule of gym time for an hour or more on any kind of regular basis.
BUT, I have a new plan! Instead of trying to carve out an impossible routine, I am now committed to long walks at lunchtime at least 3 times per week. And, I am working my arms each day for 5-10 minutes before going to bed. Then, I hope to add stomach crunches during the morning prior to getting dressed. I think that for working moms, we have to eek out the time that we can for ouselves so if that means splitting up the time into shorter stints, then I guess that's what we have to do. But I can tell you that it felt good last night to know that I had done my long walk and then worked on my upper body muscles without having to sacrifice my family time - and that is definitely worth it.
Cheers!
Renay
Monday, April 7, 2008
Guilt
Today's post is entirely selfish - I need to expunge my guilt for the day. My daughter's classroom teachers have invited the parents in for a luncheon. Due to my new, lengthier commute that involves trains and buses, it is completely unfeasible for me to attend and I feel terribly guilty about it.
Having said that, my husband consoled me this morning by reminding me that I left work early last Friday to take both kids to a spaghetti dinner at my son's school and then spent the weekend partying with my daughter for her third birthday party.
The reality is that we want to be there for everything - every dinner, every dance class, every early release day. But as working parents, we always have hard choices to make. I know that I do whatever I can to be at all of the important events and many of the day-to-day things that come up. It's about that scale that balances back and forth...today it will have to balance towards the work side of the scale and I will tell myself that that is okay.
Renay
Having said that, my husband consoled me this morning by reminding me that I left work early last Friday to take both kids to a spaghetti dinner at my son's school and then spent the weekend partying with my daughter for her third birthday party.
The reality is that we want to be there for everything - every dinner, every dance class, every early release day. But as working parents, we always have hard choices to make. I know that I do whatever I can to be at all of the important events and many of the day-to-day things that come up. It's about that scale that balances back and forth...today it will have to balance towards the work side of the scale and I will tell myself that that is okay.
Renay
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Save the Schools!
Like many of us in Massachusetts, my husband and I diligently went out to vote in our town this week. Aside from the list of local officials, we voted on the $2.8M override to the budget that would enable Chelmsford to keep from closing a local elementary school, as well as a fire station.
Much to our dismay, the override did not pass which means that both the school and the station will be shut down. In addition to the obvious safety issues posed by the closing of the fire station, we are particularly concerned about the school closure. In my opinion, everyone loses here - the kids first and foremost, the teachers who have dedicated their careers to education, the school staff, the parents and really the entire town.
I understand the issue for those who lived on very tight and fixed incomes. I get it. But in addition to those people, there are others who may have children at the tail end of their high school years who feel that they should not have to spend the additional money. This is absolutely ludicrous to me and is a perfect example of the lack of community that is apparent in our society.
The reality is that my taxes have gone up like crazy in the past few years. So, honestly, the additional $200 per year does not seem like a major burden to handle in light of these increases, especially if it means that children can have access to greater resources. And I can guarantee you that when my kids are grown and have gone through school, I will continue to recognize the value of education and the importance of these resources. Good schools attract young families and fuel growth which benefits the community and me personally. Maybe if others shared this belief, we wouldn't be closing schools.
I welcome any suggestions, comments so please respond. And I hope that you don't have to see school closures in your town.
Renay
Much to our dismay, the override did not pass which means that both the school and the station will be shut down. In addition to the obvious safety issues posed by the closing of the fire station, we are particularly concerned about the school closure. In my opinion, everyone loses here - the kids first and foremost, the teachers who have dedicated their careers to education, the school staff, the parents and really the entire town.
I understand the issue for those who lived on very tight and fixed incomes. I get it. But in addition to those people, there are others who may have children at the tail end of their high school years who feel that they should not have to spend the additional money. This is absolutely ludicrous to me and is a perfect example of the lack of community that is apparent in our society.
The reality is that my taxes have gone up like crazy in the past few years. So, honestly, the additional $200 per year does not seem like a major burden to handle in light of these increases, especially if it means that children can have access to greater resources. And I can guarantee you that when my kids are grown and have gone through school, I will continue to recognize the value of education and the importance of these resources. Good schools attract young families and fuel growth which benefits the community and me personally. Maybe if others shared this belief, we wouldn't be closing schools.
I welcome any suggestions, comments so please respond. And I hope that you don't have to see school closures in your town.
Renay
Monday, March 3, 2008
Can I really be jealous of Dora the Explorer?
So at 13.5 months, Torin still only jibber jabbers, only says mama when he's really upset, will say dada occasionally, but that's the only words that we can understand. So when I tell you that I felt disgruntled towards a stuffed toy, you must understand that all I want is to hear my child look at me with that love in his eyes as he always does, and utter that word "mama". Today, after work, we played hide and seek with his big sister. We were hiding in her room and Torin points to a large stuffed doll and says DORA! I could have cried......I hate Dora and her cousin Diego (who Maya at age 3 still thinks is HER cousin). Dora is a character that I can't escape. She has infiltrated my home with her face plastered on sneakers, bedding, clothes, and yes, 400 different doll sizes.
At bed time, my mama's boy of a Son sang to me his jibbery jabbery bedtime songs, smiled, sneezed and did all the cute things that he does and then I could feel the moment that I was waiting for approach. My little Angel touched my face with the palm of his hand, paused and said...."dada"...well it's better than Dora, so I'll take it. And least I forget, there are 4 million lead infested Dora's and only one diet coke contaminated Me!
At bed time, my mama's boy of a Son sang to me his jibbery jabbery bedtime songs, smiled, sneezed and did all the cute things that he does and then I could feel the moment that I was waiting for approach. My little Angel touched my face with the palm of his hand, paused and said...."dada"...well it's better than Dora, so I'll take it. And least I forget, there are 4 million lead infested Dora's and only one diet coke contaminated Me!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The Contradiction of "Family Values" in the US
I don't generally get political but it truly amazes me that in a country where our politician spew forth comments about bringing family values back, the US is towards the bottom of the list of progress when it comes to things like maternity leave and childcare options.
In various European countries, paid maternity leave is the norm and family leave is common. There are also options for subsidized childcare.
Yet here in the US, female employees are lucky if they can take their FMLA leave and many organizations do not pay for maternity leave. And forget the concept of men taking FMLA - I am told by my male counterparts that any man who asks for this is laughed at and this is not considered acceptable.
So while in many countries there are various resources that families can take advantage of, in addition to cultural norms that involve the help of extended family in raising children, we are not so fortunate. I am sure that you can relate - as American families, we are very much on our own. Unless we have relatives who live close by and have the availability to help, we are left to find childcare, babysitters, programs and activities that enable us to be working parents. But wouldn't be amazing if we had some help instead of feeling incredibly alone in this endeavor?
I challenge you all to assemble your resources. Sometimes these come from places that we never think of and sometimes having discussions with other working parents give us new ideas. When "Working Moms Make It Work" launches events, we will do just that. Stay tuned...
Cheers,
Renay
In various European countries, paid maternity leave is the norm and family leave is common. There are also options for subsidized childcare.
Yet here in the US, female employees are lucky if they can take their FMLA leave and many organizations do not pay for maternity leave. And forget the concept of men taking FMLA - I am told by my male counterparts that any man who asks for this is laughed at and this is not considered acceptable.
So while in many countries there are various resources that families can take advantage of, in addition to cultural norms that involve the help of extended family in raising children, we are not so fortunate. I am sure that you can relate - as American families, we are very much on our own. Unless we have relatives who live close by and have the availability to help, we are left to find childcare, babysitters, programs and activities that enable us to be working parents. But wouldn't be amazing if we had some help instead of feeling incredibly alone in this endeavor?
I challenge you all to assemble your resources. Sometimes these come from places that we never think of and sometimes having discussions with other working parents give us new ideas. When "Working Moms Make It Work" launches events, we will do just that. Stay tuned...
Cheers,
Renay
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Hungary Hippo colonoscopy
What a beautiful Sunday! I am catching up writing thank you notes for my 1 year olds birthday party (5 weeks ago)...Maya is "playing" Hungary Hippos which means that she's taking the fishing rod from the Go Fish game and putting in the Hippo's back end, than making Henry Hippo eat the round balls (which is how the game is really supposed to be played). I feel bad for her future boyfriends! Torin is next to her on the floor playing with her princess figurines and crushing them with his Little People Worksite. I used to try and act like the nonstop princess play was no big deal....but I have to say, I was slightly relieved to see the figurines get a little roughened up. Torin also LOVES a purse...I need to buy him a "ManBag".
Okay, simultaneous meltdowns occurring.....
Okay, simultaneous meltdowns occurring.....
Friday, February 22, 2008
Blackberrys and pottys don't mix!
Since I wasn't able to travel to see my family at Christmas this year...my mother-in-law died on Christmas day....I had to postpone the dreaded 8 hour drive with a 1 & 3 year old until February. I was committed to taking a few days with my family and then working 1/2 days the other 3, since I've run out of vacation due to sick kids. I am proud to say that I held true to my goal and I really didn't work for a long weekend. I unfortunately found that it took almost 10 hours to work a 4 hour day, as "Grammy" underestimated how busy little ones can be. She also underestimated how quick a 1 year old can move. "Grammy", who has an important job with the state, had to hang her head and call in to say that her grandson put her blackberry in the toilet. She's also hoping that no one gets ahold of the cute picture of her with Chuck.E.Cheese, the one with a small greasy handprint on her shirt right smack dab on her boob.
I enjoyed a little "me" time at Ann Taylor after "Grammy" paid me off since she couldn't pull her weight in keeping them entertained while I worked. I've learned to take bribes and just say thank you.
Can't say I'm looking forward to the drive home. I hear that there is a Winter Advisory in New England. Hurray...the 8 hours and soon be 12! Maybe I'll miss my schedule bikini wax tomorrow! I can only hope. I'm already gearing up to be mad at my husband because I heard it hurts....
I enjoyed a little "me" time at Ann Taylor after "Grammy" paid me off since she couldn't pull her weight in keeping them entertained while I worked. I've learned to take bribes and just say thank you.
Can't say I'm looking forward to the drive home. I hear that there is a Winter Advisory in New England. Hurray...the 8 hours and soon be 12! Maybe I'll miss my schedule bikini wax tomorrow! I can only hope. I'm already gearing up to be mad at my husband because I heard it hurts....
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I didn't hear about that...
These are words that I often find myself uttering these days. Other than listening to news radio on my way to and from work, I have little other time to stay updated on current events. Well, sure - I could spend the half hour of time that I have after the kids go to sleep, I get ready for the next day, attend to paperwork, etc. watching CNN. But this is my only down time.
This topic always hits home when I am meetings with my male counterparts. They regularly chat about the books they are reading and the movies that they have seen recently. And, in my head I'm thinking, "I'm lucky that I'm wearing clean clothes today and that I can keep my calendar straight." Reading and watching movies are activities that I mainly said goodbye to when I became a working parent.
So, I try to listen to books on CD in the car. And, I forgive myself that I am not completely up on the current selection of great business books and all current events. Instead, I subscribe to newsletters so that I can get quick bits of information. I try to check out Google news when I can. And I have stopped trying to pretend that I know everything that everyone is talking about.
Cheers,
Renay
This topic always hits home when I am meetings with my male counterparts. They regularly chat about the books they are reading and the movies that they have seen recently. And, in my head I'm thinking, "I'm lucky that I'm wearing clean clothes today and that I can keep my calendar straight." Reading and watching movies are activities that I mainly said goodbye to when I became a working parent.
So, I try to listen to books on CD in the car. And, I forgive myself that I am not completely up on the current selection of great business books and all current events. Instead, I subscribe to newsletters so that I can get quick bits of information. I try to check out Google news when I can. And I have stopped trying to pretend that I know everything that everyone is talking about.
Cheers,
Renay
Friday, February 15, 2008
Groundhog Day
I have had an incredibly stressful week - lots of meetings, presentations, etc. And, at the same time, have lots going on at home and school with projects, Valentine's Day. So, this morning when Zack said, "Mom, you missed Groundhog Day," I have to admit that I felt guilty.
Sounds ridiculous that I would care so much? Well, maybe. But last year, we watched the news in amazement as Phil left his underground home. So when Zack reminded me that I had missed it this year, I did feel bad that I had not remembered this fun little tradition that we had both shared.
As a working mother, I try to forgive myself for the things I cannot do. I'm not a superwoman and I'm certainly not the perfect Mom or the perfect employee. I am forever trying to balance that scale, recognizing that it constantly tips back and forth. Sometimes I am a better mother, attending school functions, working on projects, attending to hurt feelings. And other times, I am a better employee, working late, going the extra mile. So, as I contemplate the groundhog situation, I will try to recognize this, as hard as it may be. There's always Flag Day...
Cheers,
Renay
Sounds ridiculous that I would care so much? Well, maybe. But last year, we watched the news in amazement as Phil left his underground home. So when Zack reminded me that I had missed it this year, I did feel bad that I had not remembered this fun little tradition that we had both shared.
As a working mother, I try to forgive myself for the things I cannot do. I'm not a superwoman and I'm certainly not the perfect Mom or the perfect employee. I am forever trying to balance that scale, recognizing that it constantly tips back and forth. Sometimes I am a better mother, attending school functions, working on projects, attending to hurt feelings. And other times, I am a better employee, working late, going the extra mile. So, as I contemplate the groundhog situation, I will try to recognize this, as hard as it may be. There's always Flag Day...
Cheers,
Renay
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Seriously! When do they sleep!
Hi! It's Holyn, Renay's blurried eyed, frenzied, completely disorganized, never on time friend. My past life doesn't know me that way...does type A ring a bell for any of you folks? Yeah, well at this point I don't have time to be any time and frankly, I'm too tired to care. I try to wear something white every day to symoblize my surrender.
I used to be charming, whitty, and dare I say hysterical. The only ones finding me funny these days are the voices in my head and my friends that are medicated. Hysterical has taken on a completely different meaning as well.
I would love to go on and on, but I was up with my Prince Charming from 1am to 5am because he's stubborn as hell and he takes "crying it out" to a whole new level. Big sis got up at 6:30am and dad was out of town for a guys weekend. Don't worry, I called Dad at 3:30am sobbing. No, he didn't answer...beer puts him in a coma.
I used to be charming, whitty, and dare I say hysterical. The only ones finding me funny these days are the voices in my head and my friends that are medicated. Hysterical has taken on a completely different meaning as well.
I would love to go on and on, but I was up with my Prince Charming from 1am to 5am because he's stubborn as hell and he takes "crying it out" to a whole new level. Big sis got up at 6:30am and dad was out of town for a guys weekend. Don't worry, I called Dad at 3:30am sobbing. No, he didn't answer...beer puts him in a coma.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Staying organized
As I am finishing up a presentation at 10:30PM and wishing that I was sleeping, it also dawns on me that my son has a movie night at his school tomorrow. I have been dying to take him and was planning to call a friend to see if she and her son wanted to join us.
So now that it is the night before, I'm exhausted, have not called my friend and just realized that I have a business call that may interfere with my ability to take him to see the movie. This is very typical for me...I like to think I am organized but then find that all-important flyer the night before and also forget about a meeting. I'm scrambling and don't want to let him down.
I am committed to trying to get there on time, even if it means that I will have to race home and sit on a cold floor of the gym watching a children's movie. But I will be there with Zack and will make it all worthwhile.
That being said, I am always seeking ways to get more organized. Mind you, I have a planner, a Blackberry and every other possible gadget known to man but somehow, I still have issues with organization. If anyone has any tips or advice to offer on what system works for them, I would greatly appreciate it. Maybe I need to dump them all and just put sticky notes all over my house and office...
Sleep is calling...
Renay
So now that it is the night before, I'm exhausted, have not called my friend and just realized that I have a business call that may interfere with my ability to take him to see the movie. This is very typical for me...I like to think I am organized but then find that all-important flyer the night before and also forget about a meeting. I'm scrambling and don't want to let him down.
I am committed to trying to get there on time, even if it means that I will have to race home and sit on a cold floor of the gym watching a children's movie. But I will be there with Zack and will make it all worthwhile.
That being said, I am always seeking ways to get more organized. Mind you, I have a planner, a Blackberry and every other possible gadget known to man but somehow, I still have issues with organization. If anyone has any tips or advice to offer on what system works for them, I would greatly appreciate it. Maybe I need to dump them all and just put sticky notes all over my house and office...
Sleep is calling...
Renay
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Hope for Sleep...
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a friend of mine today - her son had tubes put in his ears this morning. While it's a simple procedure, it's still never easy to watch your child go under anesthesia.
I am told that the procedure went well and now I will cross my fingers that my friend and her family will start getting some sleep at night. It's one thing to miss a few hours of sleep here and there but quite another to try to be a good parent and a productive employee when you're working on 3 hours of sleep per night.
Shall we start suggesting the creation of "napping rooms" to our employers? I would never wake up!
Here's wishing you all a good night's sleep!
Renay
I am told that the procedure went well and now I will cross my fingers that my friend and her family will start getting some sleep at night. It's one thing to miss a few hours of sleep here and there but quite another to try to be a good parent and a productive employee when you're working on 3 hours of sleep per night.
Shall we start suggesting the creation of "napping rooms" to our employers? I would never wake up!
Here's wishing you all a good night's sleep!
Renay
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Welcome to Working Moms Make It Work!
Welcome to our new blog! My name is Renay and I have been a working Mom for about 5 years now. As working Moms, we all know the deal, right? Sleepless nights, followed by long days and hectic schedules. We love our families but many of us also love to work. After all, as professional women, many of us worked for many years and accomplished a great deal during that time.
Then, we met significant others, got married, went through that original honeymoon phase of traveling, going out for romantic dinners, the whole deal. And THEN, we got pregnant, knew that our lives would change but didn't really know what we were in for as working parents. Gone are the trips to Europe, the romantic dinners replaced by breastfeeding, diapers, daycare, illness and this interesting thing that we like to call "work-life balance."
I like to think that I have learned much during the past 5 years. I have been through all of the emotions - the guilt, the need to be productive and further my skills, the yearning to spend more time with my kids, the list goes on. But, of all the things I have learned, the most important emotion that I have gained is acceptance. I have learned to accept that I cannot always be the perfect mom, the perfect employee or the perfect wife.
What helps me to do this is to gather all of the resources that I can to be successful in each of these roles and to enjoy my life. That's what Working Moms Make It Work is all about. We seek to bring together professional women who face these challenges, create a discussion and meet to gain the tools we need for success. So join in the discussion - oh, and you will also hear from my partner in crime and another fabulous working Mom, Holyn. Together, we will launch what promises to be an organization that is committed to helping you to enjoy life as a working mother.
Cheers,
Renay
Then, we met significant others, got married, went through that original honeymoon phase of traveling, going out for romantic dinners, the whole deal. And THEN, we got pregnant, knew that our lives would change but didn't really know what we were in for as working parents. Gone are the trips to Europe, the romantic dinners replaced by breastfeeding, diapers, daycare, illness and this interesting thing that we like to call "work-life balance."
I like to think that I have learned much during the past 5 years. I have been through all of the emotions - the guilt, the need to be productive and further my skills, the yearning to spend more time with my kids, the list goes on. But, of all the things I have learned, the most important emotion that I have gained is acceptance. I have learned to accept that I cannot always be the perfect mom, the perfect employee or the perfect wife.
What helps me to do this is to gather all of the resources that I can to be successful in each of these roles and to enjoy my life. That's what Working Moms Make It Work is all about. We seek to bring together professional women who face these challenges, create a discussion and meet to gain the tools we need for success. So join in the discussion - oh, and you will also hear from my partner in crime and another fabulous working Mom, Holyn. Together, we will launch what promises to be an organization that is committed to helping you to enjoy life as a working mother.
Cheers,
Renay
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